I am very tired right now, so I will make this a quick post and I will post more later when I have more energy.
Saturday we went to the ex-in-laws christmas party. it was fun and everyone got something that they love. Then we came home and were locked out of the house, ( tell more later) , had Da climbed through and window and let us in then we had to rush to a birthday party for my neighbor's girl who is two days older than my son. that was fun, they all spoke in Russian. they know English, but speak Russian when they are all around each other b/c why change for me. you know? but I did have a few translate for me and I do know a few words and phrases to know the subject of what they are talking about. But I still felt like a fish out of water. Then Sunday we had Da's birthday party. And every one from he ex-in laws came. I think it is the best birthday party that Da has ever had knowing that his b-day is so close to x-mas. we canceled our plans of going ice skating afterwards b/c it was just too cold. But we came home to Chewy being very lethargic and not wanting to come out from under my bed. I was so afraid that we were going to lose him. I did not sleep at all last night b/c I checked on him every hour and prayed to god not to take him, not now. He is so young and it is Christmas. Please spare us the heart ache and help him get well. and apparently he heard my prayers b/c this morning he woke up with alot more energy and is more alert than he was last night with enough energy to bark and chase a neighborhood cat outside. He is still not out of the woods though. He is refusing to eat anything. I really don't know what to do. I really cannot afford to take him to the emergency vet. and our regular vet is a mobile vet and does not have an office or do house calls. Can dogs get the flu? is this just a bug that he caught? My husband was looking on the Internet and said that his symptoms point to distemper, but he has had all his shots for that. can he still get it even though he has had all his shots? Wouldn't the other animals get sick too?
If anyone knows what I can do to get him to eat, please let me know. and please pray for my puppy!
Monday, December 18, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
My worst day.
Well okay. it is more like bad week. It started on weds. We all got ready to go to CJ's first Kindergarten concert. CJ was so excited. We get to the school to find it very dark. The room where the concert was to be held was not even set up for a concert and there were no other people on the school. The gates were down to get into CJ's class, but the other K class was open. so I went snooping for the little green reminder slip and found one. CJ's concert was on the 12th!
How did I miss that? I had everything written on the calendar for what was going on this week. apparently the newsletter that came out before Thanksgiving had the wrong date on it and I wrote that down, but then they corrected it when they came back, but for some reason I just threw it aside and figured I had that all taken care off. I was crushed not to be able to hear him sing. The next morning while getting ready for school, CJ says to me " Mommy. I hate you!" I asked him why, b/c sometimes he says this over petty things and I just let it go, but this time he answered " because I wanted to sing at my concert." I responded " Well....." and had no explanation, but went into my room and quietly sobbed. How could I have messed up? I crushed his little heart. Then later Thursday morning, after the kids were off to school, our dog, Chewy started vomiting everywhere. So I spent the whole day cleaning dog vomit and making sure he keeps hydrated. Now we go to my worst day....
Called the bank this morning and found out that my direct deposit still has not been process. What are they taking an early vacation and not going to process it til after the Holidays? I need that money for Christmas shopping, C'mon people!! Then I got the kids off to school and I thought since the dog did not vomit all night that he was over whatever bug he had caught, but No! He vomited once again on my sons blanket and it smell so bad that while trying to get it in the wash, I vomited as well. Yum! What a way to start of the day. Then wind it horrible here and freaking out the little dog, Vader. But at least it is not as back as my sister in Seattle, she has no power and does not know when it will be back on. So then not being able to e-mail my sister back forth i decided to take a break from the computer this morning and watched Ellen. She is so funny. I would love to have been in her audience today. she gave away a trip to Cancun, Mexico! So anyway, after going and getting CJ in the freezing, harsh winds, ( and the bus was late) we came home and ate some lunch and had some hot cocoa. Got bored with the TV , so I started knitting a winter hat. My hand started cramping up so then I came and played some games on the computer. CJ came in and helped. Then he jumps up and goes to the restroom and then moments later i heard what sounded like rain in the basement and found that the toilet was overflowing so bad that it was leaking in the basement. AHHHHH! CJ failed to come and tell me that they toilet was over flowing . I quickly got out my Floormate and sucked up as much water as I could and then towel dried the rest. Then I went down into the basement and called my husband and told him what was going on. After a few instructions of what to do next I got off the phone with him and then at the most inopportune time, my mom calls asking if I had the car and if I could go and get my dad at a Doc.'s appt. I didn't have the car today, but even if I did I would not of been able to leave at that point in time. My oldest kids were on their way home and I had a huge mess in the basement. So my mom hangs up on me after saying that she would just re-schedule her appt. I tried calling her back, but she would not answer. WTH! So now I feel like crap. More crappy than I felt before. I ruined CJ'c concert, I have no money to buy gifts, I can't go over to my sister's for x-mas( like she wanted), and now, out of all the times my parents have helped me out, i was unable to return the favor when they really needed it. AHHHHHHHH!
Can I go climb in a hole now! I hope this next week, while the kids are home, will be better than this week. B/c this week just sucked so bad.
How did I miss that? I had everything written on the calendar for what was going on this week. apparently the newsletter that came out before Thanksgiving had the wrong date on it and I wrote that down, but then they corrected it when they came back, but for some reason I just threw it aside and figured I had that all taken care off. I was crushed not to be able to hear him sing. The next morning while getting ready for school, CJ says to me " Mommy. I hate you!" I asked him why, b/c sometimes he says this over petty things and I just let it go, but this time he answered " because I wanted to sing at my concert." I responded " Well....." and had no explanation, but went into my room and quietly sobbed. How could I have messed up? I crushed his little heart. Then later Thursday morning, after the kids were off to school, our dog, Chewy started vomiting everywhere. So I spent the whole day cleaning dog vomit and making sure he keeps hydrated. Now we go to my worst day....
Called the bank this morning and found out that my direct deposit still has not been process. What are they taking an early vacation and not going to process it til after the Holidays? I need that money for Christmas shopping, C'mon people!! Then I got the kids off to school and I thought since the dog did not vomit all night that he was over whatever bug he had caught, but No! He vomited once again on my sons blanket and it smell so bad that while trying to get it in the wash, I vomited as well. Yum! What a way to start of the day. Then wind it horrible here and freaking out the little dog, Vader. But at least it is not as back as my sister in Seattle, she has no power and does not know when it will be back on. So then not being able to e-mail my sister back forth i decided to take a break from the computer this morning and watched Ellen. She is so funny. I would love to have been in her audience today. she gave away a trip to Cancun, Mexico! So anyway, after going and getting CJ in the freezing, harsh winds, ( and the bus was late) we came home and ate some lunch and had some hot cocoa. Got bored with the TV , so I started knitting a winter hat. My hand started cramping up so then I came and played some games on the computer. CJ came in and helped. Then he jumps up and goes to the restroom and then moments later i heard what sounded like rain in the basement and found that the toilet was overflowing so bad that it was leaking in the basement. AHHHHH! CJ failed to come and tell me that they toilet was over flowing . I quickly got out my Floormate and sucked up as much water as I could and then towel dried the rest. Then I went down into the basement and called my husband and told him what was going on. After a few instructions of what to do next I got off the phone with him and then at the most inopportune time, my mom calls asking if I had the car and if I could go and get my dad at a Doc.'s appt. I didn't have the car today, but even if I did I would not of been able to leave at that point in time. My oldest kids were on their way home and I had a huge mess in the basement. So my mom hangs up on me after saying that she would just re-schedule her appt. I tried calling her back, but she would not answer. WTH! So now I feel like crap. More crappy than I felt before. I ruined CJ'c concert, I have no money to buy gifts, I can't go over to my sister's for x-mas( like she wanted), and now, out of all the times my parents have helped me out, i was unable to return the favor when they really needed it. AHHHHHHHH!
Can I go climb in a hole now! I hope this next week, while the kids are home, will be better than this week. B/c this week just sucked so bad.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
just in case....
Just on the off chance that someone else beside my mom and sister is reading this, I want to update people on the biopsy results. The doctor said that everything looked normal ( aside from the fact that there were cysts in my breast) and that the mass that they were concerned about was scar tissue. This confuses me b/c why would I have scar tissue in my breast? I have never had anything done before. hmmmm? Well I go back in June for a follow up which I was doing anyway b/c of the mass in my left breast.
Well that is all, just thought I would update things.
Well that is all, just thought I would update things.
Friday, December 8, 2006
a funny story
Yesterday as we were sitting here in the morning, while it was just me, Hubby, and Sho-sho, My hubby got up to see what sho-sho was doing in the bedroom and there was our youngest Kitty sitting in the hallway appearing to be either staring a on spot on the floor directly in front of her or sleeping with her head dropping down. So I call her "Shaak ti?" and she meows at me. She was awake and looked up at us but then quickly went back into this position. So curious as to what she was doing I watch her a bit longer. she turned her head a bit and then attack a small ray of light in front of her on the floor. we then discovered that she was attacking her own shadow. If you could have only seen it. HILARIOUS! The strangest thing by far I have ever seen a cat do.
A long day/ the biopsy.
This day started out like every other weekday except for this time I was the one taking the kids to school. I woke up and got the kids ready for school. CJ was so cute, when I got my coat on he says " I wanna go!". He must have thought that it was the weekend b/c daddy was not getting ready for work? So after getting the three older ones to school I came home and it felt weird b/c usually when I take someone to school, (Sneezer) there are 2 boys still sleeping here. But it was just me and Hubby while Sho-sho was still sleeping. It was very quiet. So I got out my knitting stuff and started making that little sweater for Vader. After a while my hands started falling asleep, so I went in a took a shower.(Found out later that my sister called while I was in the shower.) When I got out of the shower, I continued working on the doggy sweater and then the girl up the street called. She was saying that she had found some lumps in her breast and wanted to know if I would come down and feel them to see if they feel like mine. I then explained to her that I could not feel mine and what I am getting a biopsy on is something that they found with the mammogram, so I would not know what to feel for on her. She said that she has gone to her reg. doc. and he has felt them, but is deciding on what to do. I got off the phone with her and told my husband how she was asking me to come down and feel her lumps in her boobs. My husband quickly volunteered for that job! I was not comfortable with feeling someone else's boobs.
Now it was time to get CJ. So I went and picked him up and came back home and ate some lunch. And then as I am leaving, my husband says " oh yeah, your sister called while you were in the shower." I shut the door and then open it again and say " that was 2 1/2 hours ago and your telling me now?" He said he forgot. hmmmm?
The drive to the hospital I was holding back tears. I was so scared. What was going to happen? Will it hurt? Will I pass out? I get the hospital with my mind going in every direction. ( Did I lock the car? Did I park straight? Do I have my keys?) I get up to the receptionist and there is not wait, I tell the lady my name and she asks a few questions to verify things and then tells me to proceed to downstairs. I get down there, tell the other lady my name and she tells me to take a seat. I read some very interesting articles, (ha) none that I can remember but one. They have discovered that the abortion pill, that has anti-progesterone in it, can actually reduce the gene that causes breast cancer.( according to studies on lab rats.) How ironic, the pill used to kill babies can save a life from from breast cancer prevention.
So now people are being called back left and right and then I sense the eerie silence. I was the only one in this waiting room. Not even the receptionist was there. WTH? its like " why was I picked last?" but then someone comes down the stairs and I am not alone again. Then the lady comes out (Maureen) and calls my name. (Finally?) She leads me back to the room that I was in, just 10 days before, with the previous ultrasound. Maureen goes over the procedure, they are going to have the sonogram to look in to where they are going and then the doctor is going to put an guider needle in for the needle that they are going to use to extract the masses. Then she explains to me that they had found 3 liquid masses surrounding a solid mass. ( What? that is not what they told me last time?) So I suddenly feel woozy. Before I was thinking this was nothing b/c no one told me about the solid mass, but now it is something different and I am worrying more. Then she goes on to tell me that the needle extracting the masses will make a loud clicking noise, like a cap gun going off. ( Oh that is comforting)And that because the "cysts" are so small they have to leave a little chip in its place for marker, for future reference. So then she asks me to undress, waist up and put the gown on, opening in front. (okey dokey) So I undress and sit up on the table and wait. She comes back in a few minutes later and starts taking pictures of my boob with the sonogram, I asked her if they had changed any and she says " not really." In a "kind of, but I am not at liberty to tell you that" sort of way. I could tell that they had gotten bigger, not by much, but now there was a visible white area in the middle. I did not see that last time. Then she gets up to go and show the pictures to the doctor to see if those were good. And then she comes back in with the doctor and he asks if Maureen has gone over the procedure with me. and I say "yes." And he says " and your still here?" and right before he said that I was desperately wanting to get up and run out of the room saying I changed my mind. I don't want the freaking needle gun in my boob. But then he cleans off the area and pokes me with a little needle and then suddenly I can see the needle on the sonogram, but I could not feel a darn thing. That is the weirdest feeling not being able to feel your boob. So then he puts the Guider needle in place (no biggie) and then he puts the extractor needle in and *snap* the first mass is sucked out. Maureen asks me how I am doing and then re-adjusts the sonogram. Then he insert the extractor needle again and *snap* the second mass is taken out. Maureen again asks how I am doing and I tell her that it is starting to burn a little. The Doc. tells me that he just needs to do one more and Maureen agrees that one more should do it. So then again, needle in,*snap*, third mass out. Maureen adjusts the sonogram and sees that all he masses are out. So now the Doc. removes the needles, but the burning feeling is still there, why? B/c Maureen was pushing down with the sonogram wand thingy. Now they just needed to insert this small titanium chip to mark where they took the masses out. Then they were done. Maureen cleaned off the area and then put on a bandage thingy and sent me down to get a mammogram. Then I came back to the sonogram room and put my bra on and she fitted a ice pack onto my boob and I put my shirt on and then I was outta there. Before I left, she gave me an angel pin, saying that everyone who has a biopsy gets one. So now I have a scar, a chip, and an angel pin to remind me of this day!
Got home and just wanted to sleep. So I laid down for a bit and then came in to check my e-mail. Wrote my sister and others to tell them all went well and I will know something by Monday afternoon. (probably the only time I am looking forward to Monday.)
Shortly after that, Sneezer and Da got home from school. They went in to my room and did their home work and Hubby took Sho-sho and CJ to the store so we could have quiet. I Helped Da with his homework and for the first time in a long time I had my two older kids sitting on my lap. weird?
Then hubby came back home with McBarfo's and then me, Da, and Sneezer went to Sneezer's chorale concert. I wanted to sleep so bad, but I stayed awake for it and then came home and went to sleep. I think I am going to lay down now. Sleeping with bra on is something I will not recommend. I am suppose to wear a bra to bed for the next 2-3 nights. JOY! maybe I will try that sports bra tonight, If I can still fit into it?
Now it was time to get CJ. So I went and picked him up and came back home and ate some lunch. And then as I am leaving, my husband says " oh yeah, your sister called while you were in the shower." I shut the door and then open it again and say " that was 2 1/2 hours ago and your telling me now?" He said he forgot. hmmmm?
The drive to the hospital I was holding back tears. I was so scared. What was going to happen? Will it hurt? Will I pass out? I get the hospital with my mind going in every direction. ( Did I lock the car? Did I park straight? Do I have my keys?) I get up to the receptionist and there is not wait, I tell the lady my name and she asks a few questions to verify things and then tells me to proceed to downstairs. I get down there, tell the other lady my name and she tells me to take a seat. I read some very interesting articles, (ha) none that I can remember but one. They have discovered that the abortion pill, that has anti-progesterone in it, can actually reduce the gene that causes breast cancer.( according to studies on lab rats.) How ironic, the pill used to kill babies can save a life from from breast cancer prevention.
So now people are being called back left and right and then I sense the eerie silence. I was the only one in this waiting room. Not even the receptionist was there. WTH? its like " why was I picked last?" but then someone comes down the stairs and I am not alone again. Then the lady comes out (Maureen) and calls my name. (Finally?) She leads me back to the room that I was in, just 10 days before, with the previous ultrasound. Maureen goes over the procedure, they are going to have the sonogram to look in to where they are going and then the doctor is going to put an guider needle in for the needle that they are going to use to extract the masses. Then she explains to me that they had found 3 liquid masses surrounding a solid mass. ( What? that is not what they told me last time?) So I suddenly feel woozy. Before I was thinking this was nothing b/c no one told me about the solid mass, but now it is something different and I am worrying more. Then she goes on to tell me that the needle extracting the masses will make a loud clicking noise, like a cap gun going off. ( Oh that is comforting)And that because the "cysts" are so small they have to leave a little chip in its place for marker, for future reference. So then she asks me to undress, waist up and put the gown on, opening in front. (okey dokey) So I undress and sit up on the table and wait. She comes back in a few minutes later and starts taking pictures of my boob with the sonogram, I asked her if they had changed any and she says " not really." In a "kind of, but I am not at liberty to tell you that" sort of way. I could tell that they had gotten bigger, not by much, but now there was a visible white area in the middle. I did not see that last time. Then she gets up to go and show the pictures to the doctor to see if those were good. And then she comes back in with the doctor and he asks if Maureen has gone over the procedure with me. and I say "yes." And he says " and your still here?" and right before he said that I was desperately wanting to get up and run out of the room saying I changed my mind. I don't want the freaking needle gun in my boob. But then he cleans off the area and pokes me with a little needle and then suddenly I can see the needle on the sonogram, but I could not feel a darn thing. That is the weirdest feeling not being able to feel your boob. So then he puts the Guider needle in place (no biggie) and then he puts the extractor needle in and *snap* the first mass is sucked out. Maureen asks me how I am doing and then re-adjusts the sonogram. Then he insert the extractor needle again and *snap* the second mass is taken out. Maureen again asks how I am doing and I tell her that it is starting to burn a little. The Doc. tells me that he just needs to do one more and Maureen agrees that one more should do it. So then again, needle in,*snap*, third mass out. Maureen adjusts the sonogram and sees that all he masses are out. So now the Doc. removes the needles, but the burning feeling is still there, why? B/c Maureen was pushing down with the sonogram wand thingy. Now they just needed to insert this small titanium chip to mark where they took the masses out. Then they were done. Maureen cleaned off the area and then put on a bandage thingy and sent me down to get a mammogram. Then I came back to the sonogram room and put my bra on and she fitted a ice pack onto my boob and I put my shirt on and then I was outta there. Before I left, she gave me an angel pin, saying that everyone who has a biopsy gets one. So now I have a scar, a chip, and an angel pin to remind me of this day!
Got home and just wanted to sleep. So I laid down for a bit and then came in to check my e-mail. Wrote my sister and others to tell them all went well and I will know something by Monday afternoon. (probably the only time I am looking forward to Monday.)
Shortly after that, Sneezer and Da got home from school. They went in to my room and did their home work and Hubby took Sho-sho and CJ to the store so we could have quiet. I Helped Da with his homework and for the first time in a long time I had my two older kids sitting on my lap. weird?
Then hubby came back home with McBarfo's and then me, Da, and Sneezer went to Sneezer's chorale concert. I wanted to sleep so bad, but I stayed awake for it and then came home and went to sleep. I think I am going to lay down now. Sleeping with bra on is something I will not recommend. I am suppose to wear a bra to bed for the next 2-3 nights. JOY! maybe I will try that sports bra tonight, If I can still fit into it?
Saturday, December 2, 2006
A Christmas song that I like
Aly & Aj- Not this year.
this christmas card is contrived
a mannequin looks more alive
haven't meant a word i've written here
the page is full not one thing sincere
i can't, i can't
i can't, i can't take it
this is the time to smile,
i can't fake it
please allow me the chance now
to break it down
it's not snow, it's rain coming down
and the lights are cool,but they burn out
and i can't pull off the cheer
not this year
not this year
not this year
when i look into the mirror
no happiness is present here
not supposed to whine,
not supposed to cry
try to hold it in,
but not this time
don't know, don't know
if you can hear me
i will, i will
speak louder for you
no more whispering
are you listening
i am pleading
i am pleading
i can't, i can't
i can't, i can't take it
this is the time to smile,
i can't fake it
please allow me the chance now
to break it down
it's not snow, it's rain coming down
and the lights are cool,
but they burn out
and i can't pull off the cheer
not this year
not this year
not this year
this christmas card is contrived
a mannequin looks more alive
haven't meant a word i've written here
the page is full not one thing sincere
i can't, i can't
i can't, i can't take it
this is the time to smile,
i can't fake it
please allow me the chance now
to break it down
it's not snow, it's rain coming down
and the lights are cool,but they burn out
and i can't pull off the cheer
not this year
not this year
not this year
when i look into the mirror
no happiness is present here
not supposed to whine,
not supposed to cry
try to hold it in,
but not this time
don't know, don't know
if you can hear me
i will, i will
speak louder for you
no more whispering
are you listening
i am pleading
i am pleading
i can't, i can't
i can't, i can't take it
this is the time to smile,
i can't fake it
please allow me the chance now
to break it down
it's not snow, it's rain coming down
and the lights are cool,
but they burn out
and i can't pull off the cheer
not this year
not this year
not this year
Friday, December 1, 2006
Early Friday morning
Here I am at the end of another week. It is 8:38 am and the house is quiet. Sneezer went to school at 7:30 for her chorale, the boys left a little bit ago with dad, and Sho-sho is still sleeping.
It is quiet and I am sitting here just thinking about things. I'm scared. And not just about the biopsy and my breast, but about many things. My sister is pregnant with twins. She has gone through so much to get where she is and I hope and pray that everything goes well with those babies and her.
I woke up about 4 this morning b/c of a pain in my left hip. I thought maybe I was just sleeping wrong so I switched sides. But then when I woke up this morning, it hurt soo bad to walk on that leg. About a month or so ago, I started getting this weird feeling in my foot. occasionally when I moved my foot a certain way, I would get this tingling feeling. It never went away, but it was not enough to bug me or get in the way off my usual routine. So I forgot about it. Monday I started having dizzy spells. I thought maybe it was just butterflies b/c I had never had a mammogram done before. But Tues. I was still having them and then by Weds. I was dizzy all day, especially when I move my head certain ways or turned to fast or got up to fast. I feel like my body is falling apart on me and there is nothing I can do about it. I have been having a lot of acid reflex also. I don't feel like I have heartburn, but then suddenly out of no where I vomit a little in my mouth, mostly after bending over. My mom thinks the dizziness is from a cold. But I don't really have much of a cold. but maybe I have a head cold or something. I have found myself forgetting things. For example, Tues. night, my mom called and asked if the Dr.'s office had called yet, I didn't have a clue what she was talking about, and then she said " to set up your appt. for the biopsy". Aha? You would think I would remember something like that, huh? It is like when I go to sleep, the whole day erases and then when I wake up, it takes awhile for me to remember what just happened the day before. Is that just me? Do other people do that? I have gone to sleep angry with my husband and then wake up the next day like nothing happened. and then he is off to work and then hours later I remember, " shit I was still pissed with him!". Many arguments have ended this way. Does anyone else do that? For as long as I can remember I have been like that. Another thing was that I could not recall what the Dr said on Monday. was I suppose to wait there and then they were going to do the biopsy that day? I was freaking b/c no one ever called me from my Gyn. office. Maybe I was suppose to wait there? maybe that was why he said it could all be done by phone? I don't know? But I called yesterday, and after many, many phone calls,( b/c the gal scheduling it, was totally out of it) I finally got my appt. set for the 7th at 12:45. I am not too nervous about the fact that they are going to stick a needle in my boob, but mostly for the out come. I read that even if it is not cancerous, they might still want to remove the cysts. which means either way, I l might have surgery and a scar.
My husband said to me once that he doesn't know anyone else that has been in the hospital as many times as I have. I cannot count on two hands home many times I have been in the hospital. 4+ times for kids, 2+ times for kidney stones, 2 times for allergic reactions to nuts (not testicles ;P) and 2 times for cervical pre-cancer removal(conization). Those are the big ones. I have been there for little things, like false labor and stuff and now maybe this.
well enough rambling! The e-mail notification thing just bing-bonged and sho-sho is awake now, bringing me back into reality, so I will ramble some other time!
Yoddel!
It is quiet and I am sitting here just thinking about things. I'm scared. And not just about the biopsy and my breast, but about many things. My sister is pregnant with twins. She has gone through so much to get where she is and I hope and pray that everything goes well with those babies and her.
I woke up about 4 this morning b/c of a pain in my left hip. I thought maybe I was just sleeping wrong so I switched sides. But then when I woke up this morning, it hurt soo bad to walk on that leg. About a month or so ago, I started getting this weird feeling in my foot. occasionally when I moved my foot a certain way, I would get this tingling feeling. It never went away, but it was not enough to bug me or get in the way off my usual routine. So I forgot about it. Monday I started having dizzy spells. I thought maybe it was just butterflies b/c I had never had a mammogram done before. But Tues. I was still having them and then by Weds. I was dizzy all day, especially when I move my head certain ways or turned to fast or got up to fast. I feel like my body is falling apart on me and there is nothing I can do about it. I have been having a lot of acid reflex also. I don't feel like I have heartburn, but then suddenly out of no where I vomit a little in my mouth, mostly after bending over. My mom thinks the dizziness is from a cold. But I don't really have much of a cold. but maybe I have a head cold or something. I have found myself forgetting things. For example, Tues. night, my mom called and asked if the Dr.'s office had called yet, I didn't have a clue what she was talking about, and then she said " to set up your appt. for the biopsy". Aha? You would think I would remember something like that, huh? It is like when I go to sleep, the whole day erases and then when I wake up, it takes awhile for me to remember what just happened the day before. Is that just me? Do other people do that? I have gone to sleep angry with my husband and then wake up the next day like nothing happened. and then he is off to work and then hours later I remember, " shit I was still pissed with him!". Many arguments have ended this way. Does anyone else do that? For as long as I can remember I have been like that. Another thing was that I could not recall what the Dr said on Monday. was I suppose to wait there and then they were going to do the biopsy that day? I was freaking b/c no one ever called me from my Gyn. office. Maybe I was suppose to wait there? maybe that was why he said it could all be done by phone? I don't know? But I called yesterday, and after many, many phone calls,( b/c the gal scheduling it, was totally out of it) I finally got my appt. set for the 7th at 12:45. I am not too nervous about the fact that they are going to stick a needle in my boob, but mostly for the out come. I read that even if it is not cancerous, they might still want to remove the cysts. which means either way, I l might have surgery and a scar.
My husband said to me once that he doesn't know anyone else that has been in the hospital as many times as I have. I cannot count on two hands home many times I have been in the hospital. 4+ times for kids, 2+ times for kidney stones, 2 times for allergic reactions to nuts (not testicles ;P) and 2 times for cervical pre-cancer removal(conization). Those are the big ones. I have been there for little things, like false labor and stuff and now maybe this.
well enough rambling! The e-mail notification thing just bing-bonged and sho-sho is awake now, bringing me back into reality, so I will ramble some other time!
Yoddel!
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