Another blow to our household...

Last Thursday, after me and the kids went caroling with other families from the school, we came home to hubby giving us the news that one of our neighbors had passed away on the previous Sunday. I thought " Sunday? That is not possible b/c Me and Sho-sho just talked to him on Monday." I know it was Monday b/c that day and Thursday were the only days I walked Sho-sho to the bus. And it being Thurs. I know I didn't talk to him that day. And the Thurs. and Fri. of the previous week, Cj and Sho-sho stayed home. Was it his spirit saying bye to me one last time? I mean I have heard of this happening to other people, but never thought it would ever happen to me. I know for a fact that I talked to him on Mon.

I thought for sure that the person that told him got the days mixed up but sure enough I found this yesterday morning in the paper.



PAYAN, Alexander Jr. "Chico"
(Age 69)
Passed away on Sunday, December 9, 2007. He was born March 3, 1938 in Los Angeles, CA. At the age of 17, Chico was faced with a career choice - military or penitentiary. He chose the U.S. Army. It was an awkward first step for a hero. He proudly served in Vietnam, where he earned two purple hearts, a bronze star and many other awards until his retirement in 1977. Chico met the love of his life, Irene Rowley, in 1983. He instantly obtained a family of four daughters. They enjoyed many happy years together until Irene's death in 2006. That's when a new chapter of Chico's life began. He purchased a motorcycle and rekindled a true passion he so loved. He joined the Combat Vets Association and instantly found respect and dignity. He leaves behind family, friends and a brotherhood who will honor the time spent together. He will be missed by those who knew him. A graveside service will be held on Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 11 a.m. at Greenwood Memorial Terrace.



Chico was like the neighborhood Grandpa. He always had special bags put together for the kids at Halloween and Christmas. Always came and gave them cookies when they were playing outside. When I heard that he had passed, I just did not want to believe it. He was not sick. I don't know how he passed and I don't know who to ask.

My family will truly miss him. He was a great guy, but like most older people, annoying at times, but you just can't help but like him. Our walks to the bus will not be the same with out him there to say HI.

Going Private

OKay so I don't post on here to much, but when I was going through a difficult time with my husband and asked for advice, someone left very nasty words demeaning me. I don't want to read those sort of things, so I have decided to go private.

I know I dont have many readers, but for those of you who do, if you would like to continue reading, then please leave a comment with your email address so I can add you to my list.
I will have the comments moderated so no one else will see your email address. I will leave my blog open until the end of the year and then after that only the people on my list can read my posts.

Thank you

For anyone who reads this.

We got the autopsy results yesterday. Basically all the pain killers damaged his tissue in his heart and liver. He died from cardiac arrest and serosis of the liver. He was also being treated for pneumonia, I found out, and that was what he was at the hospital for the night before. They gave him a shot of something, Demerol? I don't remember, but yeah. Isn't it just crazy that he stopped using the drugs and that was what killed him? If he would have kept using them, he might still be here?

And also I thought for some reason that his birthday was on the 15th, but it is actually today. But I know something is on the 15th. But What?

Well that is all I have to say.

oh and hubby is doing better. He is still not doing much outside of work, but he is being nicer to me and the kids. I think I just became more understanding and something just clicked with both of us. It will take some time for us to make some sense out of all of this.

Family Skate Night

Trust me, at the beginning of the day I had absolutely no intentions of going to this.

Tuesday started out as a normal Tuesday. I got up, got the kids dressed, got them to school (minus Sho-sho), and then dropped Hubby off at work. Came home and started my normal morning cleaning. Chatted with my sister (via e-mail) , read her blog, looked at photos, and then went and took a shower. Got Sho-sho ready for school and then headed over there. I decided that I wanted to give CJ a Nebs. treatment before his field trip so I pulled him out of class and did that before lunch. After lunch, Sho-sho had to walk to the K-play area on her own. She is such a big girl and she did not have a problem with that. I had to be in CJ's classroom before 12:30 so I could help get the kids ready for the field trip. I had 5 kids in my group as opposed to the 4 that was recommended. I had good kids in my group, so it was no problem at all. And basically I just had to make sure they got on the bus and off the bus and back to the school.

Once we were at the museum, they all just spread like roaches in light. The adults mostly chatted with each other. I learned yesterday that CJ's teacher graduated from the IF clinic! I am so happy for her. I am glad that this time around she did not have to endure more than one IVF cycle. I just know the kind of pain that would be.

But back to the museum. Me and CJ's teacher, you know what we will call her J! So me and J were talking and found it funny how this "expert" (person who worked at the museum) acted as if she knew all these things about tarantula's. She was holding one and telling the kids that they do have fangs but they don't bite and they are not poisonous. UHHHH? We took the kids to the Port*land Zoo before the start of school and one of the things that we did learn about was tarantulas. They all are born with fangs and venom that can kill a human in as little as 20 minutes, so we were told. But all tarantulas that are sold in the US to Zoos, museums, pet stores, etc. are defanged and they have their venom glands removed. Also, no one in their right mind would have a spider in a children's museum that had fangs! So, she would not let the kids hold the spider, but they could touch it. She did, however, let them hold walking sticks. She has absolutely no common sense to let 6 year old hold an insect and walk around with them. And wouldn't you just know it!! It was one of the kids from my group that lost the walking stick. We looked for it for a bit, but all I can say is that it is her own dang fault for letting them hold it and not watching them with it. I mean, 6 year olds lose their shoes! Do you think they will not lose a walking stick??

So anyway, once we got back to the school, I saw one of my daughter's friends and she was trying to convince me to let Sneezer go to the skate night alone with her. I was not comfortable with this b/c she only lives with her Dad and I have never met her Dad before. So I called hubby and was going to take just the older two, but then he thought the little ones would not like that, so they all came. I was not going to skate, b/c let's face it, I am not as young as I want to be anymore. But CJ and Sho-sho were having troubles so I renting skates for myself and helped them. After about an hour (and completely wiping out a couple of times) I opted to quit and sat with mom's of Sneezer's friends. I woke up this morning with a very hurt knee. I don't remember hitting it, but it sure does hurt!!! Needless to say, next time I will be having their wheels tightened and sitting that one out!! But it was fun and it was nice to chat with the other moms.

Update on things.

Last week was a busy week, as I think this one will be too, but maybe not as much. Monday I got all my housework done early and decided to go to hubby's restaurant for some lunch. Plus I forgot to give him his bank card from the day before. Tuesday I was at the school and was talked into going on a field trip with my son's class. I thought maybe that I would have the day off b/c she didn't mention anything about the field trip before and I did not sign up, but she pulled the guilt trip on me and so now I am going to Mobius Kids with CJ's class tomorrow.

Wednesday was Halloween. A very busy day! I went to school with Sho-sho but ended up helping out in CJ's class. Oh Have I mentioned that CJ's teacher is pregnant with twins through IVF? I feel like I was meant to meet her so I could experience her pregnancy with her in a way that I couldn't with my sister. I read updates on my sister through her blog and with CJ's teacher, I can see things first hand. You know? Well after school we came home and got the older kids costumes on and then headed downtown to get a bite to eat at Rocky's and then to River Pa*rk square for some indoor trick or treating. After meeting up with hubby, we headed home to empty bags and start over at North*town. Before leaving I got a phone call from my mom saying that my dad, for his birthday which is on the 1st, bought himself a 2008 Maz*da Mia*ta. Silly guy!

Thursday was a quiet day. Hubby went out that night to play poker and I stay with the kids, as usual!! (When is my night to go out?) We made the mistake of eating McBarfo's and yes I got food poisoning. I woke up about 4:30 Friday morning and was puking andhad diarrhea and felt as though someone was punching me in the gut all day. Needless to say I will NOT be eating there ever again. I was trying not to eat there anymore anyway, b/c let's face it, the food really is not that good and it is soo bad for you. Blah!

So Friday, Sho-sho stayed home with me, as I was not able to get out of bed to take her to school. And I was waiting all day for hubby to get home. Now here is where I need some help from someone. My husband called often during the day to check up on me and see how things were going. He told me early in the morning that he had alot of things to do at work and then he would be going to the store to pick up some things. I told him that was okay. When he called me in the afternoon, I had stopped vomiting, but the other thing was still going on. I should just point out here that I am not a believer in taking pep*to or any upset stomach remedies. I feel that when your body does certain things, like diarrhea, it is something that you just need to let your body do. It is fighting something and you should let it, you know? So anyway, here is the issue. My husband called to see how things were doing about 7:30 that night and I told him that I was doing better, but I was starting to get a little hungry and the water was just blah and I wanted something with a little more flavor. So I asked him to get some saltine crackers and ginger ale for me. He said that he was just leaving work to head to the store. When 9 o'clock rolled around I called wondering where he was.

No answer. (sometimes, in certain stores, the cell phone doesn't ring) So I tried again. No answer. Hmmmm? After several times of calling I called from my cell phone and then he called me back. Apparently the cell phone ring is louder than the home phone ring. So I answer my cell phone and I hear a bunch of ruckus in the background and I say " that doesn't sound like the store?" and he said that it wasn'tand that he was at a bar with some old friends that he had plans to meet up with them since the day before. But just kept telling me all day that he was going to the store. Then I asked him why he was at the bar and he said, in a drunken response, that his brother was dead. I started to cry. did it not matter that I was home sick? Was it more important for him to get drunk to remember his brother who passed 2 weeks ago? Am I being selfish? I don't think I am.
So anyway, he hangs up on me and I call back. each time only getting a few words in and then he hangs up. finally, the last time I talk to him I say , " You know I promised your dad that I would take care of you always, but if you are going to continue grieving like this, I think I am going to have to file for divorce." He hung up on me. He called back some time later and told me to never threaten him again. Anyway, The night went on with him saying hurtful things to me that he did not recall in the morning. I am so pissed at the way he has been treating me since his brother passed. I was there for him when he needed to cry and anything that he needed the first few days, but then after that he just treated me like complete shit. Not letting me help and not talking to me. And another things, he makes the money and I usually have very little and buy what I can with it, but we had no food in the house at all last week. We ate out alot and he has had other things to do rather than provide for our family. So my question and the thing I need help with is, Is this just a phase of grieving that he is going through? Should I put up with this? I am so mad and Friday was just the final straw. I was crying all Friday night and then Saturday my sadness turned to anger and I just did not even want to look at him. Then Saturday evening he tried to turn the table and act like he was the one that was mad at me. I am pissed and I don't want to take it anymore. I love my husband, I just don't like the way he is treating me and I just want an apology from him or an acknowledgement that he has done me wrong, but he won't do it. I have no more empathy for him when he is treating me like I don't matter and in fact told me that while he was drunk. He told me that I don't matter and that the only thing that mattered was his brother's being. Whatever that means.

I just don't know what to do here. Anybody?


Update: So I went down to hubby's work and we talked. I told him how I felt and how it hurt me and that was why I couldn't be empathetic towards him b/c I felt like his servant and not his spouse. He made acknowledgements on how he could have done things differently and I think I am okay with some things. I think thigs are going to be okay from now on, but we'll see?

The end of a long week.

Yesterday I was just so tired. I got the kids to school and came home and was just cleaning the kitchen. Cleaning seems to be something that I do when I want to think. Plus Hubby had left coffee grounds on the counter the day before. I just haven't cleaned much lately so I did a lot yesterday. After I got done cleaning I came onto the computer and found myself just staring at it. I don't know what I was waiting for. Last Friday, after we got the news, My hubby came onto the computer and asked Matt for a sign that he was still here with us and the computer did the strangest thing. He turned it on and it was starting to go to the main screen and then suddenly went black. A small dot was starting in the middle of the screen and just grew bigger until the whole screen was white with these colored streaks going down it. I watched this and was telling my husband that it had never down that before. The computer has not done that since either.

On Sunday, I was cleaning the house a bit and putting clothes away when this musky smell came around my husband. I asking him if he was sweating and he said no. There was this smell that was like the leather on a tool belt mix with sweat. I just don't know how else to describe it, but it was not my husband smell. And the smell was only around my husband. It was Matt that was here checking in on his big brother.

Guilt set in on Wednesday. I was so angry at myself for not letting my kids be closer to him. Not that I was keeping him away, we were just all too busy all the time, you know? We saw him every Easter and every Christmas and sometimes at other times during the year. I was so mad the past few days and I can't explain why. I just hate myself for not being there the way my husband needs me. I am just so selfish right now and I can't stop. For example, last night there was a pumpkin carving party at the kids school and my husband said that he was going to go with us and then at the very last minute, he decided that he just couldn't go. So I got it and I let him stay home. But then this morning he got up and went to work. Why is he shutting his family out and spending time with people at work? Even on Monday, when the family got together to make the arrangements, he got comfort from one of his co-workers and just treated me like crap. Like I was his servant and not his wife. God I am such a bitch for feeling this way and now I know why his family doesn't like me and why Matthew hardly ever came around our house. Who would want to be around a bitch like me?

Yesterday, after I dropped Sho-sho off at school, I came home and just slept. We were suppose to go to the store and get other things done during this time, but I think the nap was just what we both needed. I just feel so tired all the time. I sleep all night and wake up about 6:30 or so. But I just feel so tired. And my body aches everywhere. My lower back more than anything. The other night, Tuesday I think, I got a charlie horse in the middle of the night and now my foot and leg just hurts all the time.

well I think that is enough ramblings for now. I think Hubby might go to his dad's to help them go through more of Matt things this weekend. Basically it is a "take what you want of his, we don't know what to do with it" kind of thing. We have a few of his things and I think the kids would love to have a few of his shirts to maybe sleep in at night.

Wednesday.....

This morning I woke up at 6:19 am. That seems to be the time I wake up lately. The house was quiet and I just sat in bed. I started to just let my mind wonder. We had went out last night with my husbands sisters and brothers and they all had so many good memories of Matt and all I could remember was bad things. Aren't I just such a Bitch for that? Anyway, I am laying in bed and thinking. And I hear " Hey there buddy, what's up?" That was something that Matthew always greeted my boys with. There is a part in the Spongebob movie that spongebob says that, and we always say that was uncle Matt.

I got up out of bed this morning around 9 and started a load of clothes washing. About a half hour later my husband when downstairs for something and found that the main pipe was flooding. (what a great day for that!) So we had to plug all the drains and not flush the toilet to prevent it from flooding more. That was real nice.

We left the house about 11 to head over to the funeral home and no one wanted to go inside. It was such a hard thing to see my mother-in-law cry. She said something that hit me b/c it is a thought that I have often. She said " I use to always think that I was so lucky b/c my children are healthy and I still have them, but now I know I am wrong, b/c I do not have all of them." That hit me sooo hard. That is something that I thank God for everyday. My children have their illnesses, but I have them here. I get to touch and hug them everyday.

We went inside to view Matt and the sight of the pictures in the front entrance were hard to see. There are so many memories in those pictures. Matthew sneaking in bunny ears on someone or sliding in the finger to the camera.

I stayed in the main entrance while Debbie, their mom, went in to view Matt along with others, including my husband. The sound of that woman's pain, I just can't describe. I hurts to see and hear her in pain and yet all she is thinking about is how much pain everyone else is in and how she can fix it.

After awhile I decided to go back to the room and see him. I just needed closure, you know. It just was not real to me, until I could see him. When I got in there, I had my arm around Sneezer and we were fine. We couldn't see his face, there were people crowded around him, but when that one person moved and I saw that it was Matt. I just did not want to believe it. Why is he there?

He just looked like he was sleeping.

I had to look away and I could not hold the tears back anymore and they came down so hard. and My oldest little girl was crying in my arms and I just didn't know what to do. I left it up to her to go and see him. I left that decision up to all the kids. I just did not want to keep anything from them. I want them to say their goodbyes and not have any regrets.

The service was beautiful. One by one People came up and said things. Both parents got up and said something along with all the siblings and some friends that had lost touch over the years. I really, so badly needed Dave to be there. Dave is my husbands best friend and I just could not comfort my kids and my husband at the same time. But unfortunately, Dave was not there. But his friend Matt was and he promised me he would be there for us if we needed anything. I told him that my husband will need a guys night sometime soon. I know that he needs to talk and he can talk more with them then he can with me. You know?

D kept everything in all week. He showed no emotion when I told him the news. I thought maybe this was just a guy thing. He showed no emotion during the service, but then when we came home and hubby was here with the plumbers to fix our pipe, me and the other kids left to great grandma's house and I guess D let it all out and was crying and he needed something. he needed something that had Uncle matt alive again. So now he carries a photo of Matt with him everywhere.

We got home from everything around 9:30 tonight. It was just a long hard day for everyone and now it is just time for some sleep. I want to thank you all for stopping by and reading my blog and OHN, thank you so much for your kind words. No mother should ever do this and I don't even want to imagine being in her shoes.

One last thing. Matt worked so hard to stop taking the pain pills and he did! He did so good. He was sober for 3 months and was doing so well working with his brother and his dad. It is just sad that once he got it, you know, he got that he didn't need the pain pills anymore, this was the time that God decided he needed him.

So Matt, drop by anytime! We will leave a light on and I promise I will not let Chewy bite you!!!

Tuesday ....

Last night we got together with my husbands family and cried and talked alot. I talked to His mom last night and just wish that I could help her through this is some way. All I could do was listen and hug her when she cried. I dont know what else to do.

They came up with a list of songs that meant something to them or reminded them of matt and I burned a copy of all the songs for them. I figure it is the least i could do. I wish I could do more.

Mark, my father in law called me this morning asking me to add a song and i felt bad that i had already made the discs. plus the song he was asking for, I could not find anywhere. Then he cried more and told me to promise to always take care of his son. I could not stop crying after that. and now I am crying again.

Monday Morning

So I woke up this morning to the sound of Hubby getting ready for work. Why can't he just take time off? we went shopping at wal-fart yesterday and Sho-sho started crying over something that she wanted but was not getting and Hubby grabbed her and said " at least you can cry, my brother can't even cry anymore." It was then that I took the kids out to the car. Sneezer stayed with Hubby.
When they got to the car, I could hear sniffling coming from Hubby and I asked him if he was okay, and he said "No. He can't even go to wal*mart anymore." I really don't know what to say to him. I want to tell him that even though he can't see Matt that he is here with him everyday. But I just don't think he wants to hear my sappy Bulls**t. you know? So I just put my hand on his leg and when we got home I gave him a hug.

I half expecting him to at least be home by now, but I guess being busy is easier for him. When he is here and it is quiet, he just starts to cry. Yesterday, he was started to yell at the kids for being loud and he called Sho-sho by his sister's name. I don't know where he was at that moment, but it made my stomach churn.

We haven't heard anything yet about the autopsy. Hubby went with his dad and one of his step-brothers to Matt's house to start packing his stuff. That was hard for them all and when Hubby got home, he wouldn't stop looking at the things he brought home.

Good News and Bad News

First the good news...

Yesterday I found out that CJ's teacher is having twins. I am so excited for her and when she told me I was having a hard time to show I was happy for her. As to why, well that is the bad news.

Yesterday afternoon I got a phone call from my father-in-law asking for his ex-wife's phone number. I thought that was very strange knowing the dislike that they have for each other, but I just brushed it off. About 10 minutes after that call, I got another call. The person on the phone was making strange noises and after a few seconds I realized that it was my husband sobbing uncontrollably. After a few moments, he was able to get out a few words. "Matt is dead."
The rest of the conversation is much of a blur. Matthew is My husband's younger brother. He is just a couple years younger than me. As of now, we do not know the cause of his death. We do know that he was at the hospital Thursday night complaining of chest pains. The ER person that checked him could not find anything so they discharged him. From what we figured, he died a few short hours after he left the hospital. He was not found until Friday morning by his room mate who was coming into his room to check on him.

These are going to be hard days for my husband and his family. I ask that you pray for them.

As a spouse, this is new to me. I am here for them and my husband in anyway I can. I don't know what else to do.

I saw My father-in-law today and hugged him and he began to cry, which then made us all cry in response. I know that my children loved their uncle so much and he will truly be missed by all of us.

Haven't been here for a while

Okay so I haven't wrote a blog in awhile and well I just seem to be really busy with the kids and school. On Tuesdays I have been going into CJ's classroom and helping out. I love doing that so much. Which makes me think that maybe I will go down and take that test to become a teacher's aid. In the 2 1/2 hours that I have the other days of the week I have been trying to watch some movies and read a book, but mostly I am talking to my sister via email. I did watch Disturbia the other and really liked it. It was not as predictable and most thrillers are. Today I think I will watch Black Snake Moan. I don't know how good this will be. I haven't heard a lot about it, but it sounded good.

During the past month of spending one day a week with CJ's teacher I have learned a lot about her. I found out that she started a IVF cycle at the beginning of the school year and it worked!!! She found out on weds. if there are twins or not. She transferred two eggs and is hoping for twins. I wish her and her husband the best. She has one daughter already that she had to go through 3 IVF's before she was blessed with her. This time around she was very lucky and it took the first try. Her Beta levels were very high last week, so she thinks that she is carrying twins but I guess we'll find out.

I survived sneezer's 12th b-day!! We had a pizza party at Rocky Rococo's and then went over to watch Sydney White at the AMC theater. That was a cute movie. She invited 10 girls plus her cousin and somehow 15 girls were there including Sneezer and Sho-Sho. I found out after the party that two of the girls were not invited and those same two girls were the ones causing problems during the movie. I was going to call their parents to discuss it with them, but then Sneezer tells me that her and another girl yelled at them already and they got the point. But!! If I happen to see these girls parents anywhere, I will talk to them!!

Vader, our wiener dog, turned 3 on the 16th. The Twins turned 4 months on the 12th!
Happy anniversary of your birth!!

I have been trying to walk alot more and drink less pop and I can feel the fat coming off!! My pants are starting to not fit and are so baggy that they make me feel fat. It is so time to go shopping for clothes. I bought a couple of tops yesterday and Sneezer was helping me pick some tops out and the one she picked I think is cute, but when I tried it on, it just looked silly on me. But I think I will keep it just to have a nice top to wear somewhere. I am more of a cotton t-shirt and jeans type of girl, so wearing this frou-frou baby doll top just looks silly on me.

Hmm, what else? Halloween is coming up. We were going to go to a party, but they cancelled it. The kids are having parties, all but Sneezer's class, apparently they are too old for Halloween? But I have had Sho-sho's and CJ's teacher ask me to help them and their parties are the same time. I have looked over the activities and found that Sho-sho's class is doing more than CJ's and I feel that she may need more help than Cj's teacher would. Though I somehow feel obligated to CJ's teacher b/c I am in there every Tuesday and well, I don't know. I guess we will see how many other volunteers each teacher has and go from there?

well that is about all here, time to get Sho-sho ready for school.

My Garden

Well, fall is right around the corner and I wanted to get some pictures of the plants that I had this year before they were gone. Here is one of a Hollyhock that started growing in the alley. I really love the color on this one and I gope it comes back next year.



This is some morning glory that I planted alond the cement fence. I was never able to get it to grow before and this year, alot of it grew. I was very happy about that!!

To view other pictures of my garden you can go here..
http://www.flickr.com/photos/10559532@N06/

Another day.

So we never made it out to mom and dad's. Sneezer woke up and refused to eat anything in the house so it was not possible to leave anywhere. But luckily, grandpa came by and dropped of the saltines crackers and grapes that she was saying she would eat. Thanks Dad!!

So everyone is well today. I woke up yesterday with a terrible sinus headache, but after taking some meds., it went away and we were able to get to the library as planned.

Well everyone is complaining to go somewhere so I suppose I should get dressed and take them out. I do have to get some stamps to get some bills sent off anyway. So until next time!!!

It's been awhile...

So I know that it has been awhile since I have posted, so I am just going to do a quick update on things. We have this weird illness going through the house. I dont know what it is, but other people I have talked to have had it too. My neighbors and my sis-in-law's family. It is just a fever, nothing else. A fever and body ache that comes and then goes after about 24 hrs. You dont feel like eating or anything, just sleeping. The problem is that Sneezer caught this and she has not eaten much for over the weekend and her blood sugar has dropped and it made the fever turn into vomiting. I just dont know what to do. She knows that she needs to eat something, but the thought of food just makes her feel more ill. So far it has hit 3 of the kids, all but Da. I dont know if I was ever sick, b/c well I always feel sick and a fever, well I just dont know if I ever had a fever.

Well we have been helping mom and dad with their weeding and yardwork every monday. We should be off soon to go and help, but Sneezer is not eating anything and I would hate for her to get sick on the way there.

Father-in-law came over on friday and replaced the pipes and faucets to the shower. All was good, we were sitting in the bedroom watching "Akeelah and the bee", (good movie) and then suddenly I hear water running. First thing I went to the bathroom thinking that the water started running on its own, then I realized that it came from the basement. OMG!!! I went down there and there was water spraying everywhere. I quickly shut the water off and called hubby. He called his father and then was on his way home. I cleaned up the water with my Floormate and waiting for his father to get here. Turns out he forgot to put glue in that section of pipes. Hmmm? Well at least it was warm water coming down and not cold, b/c I had to run through the spraying water to get to the off thingy. Fun times!! Well that is one way to get the basement floor cleaned!!! LOL!!!

Well, I need to finish tidying up the house and then we are going. Until next time!!

This is funny. You know how Alanis morrisette came out with the very strange version of "my humps"? Well here is the fray with their funny version of "hips dont lie"
http://www.zshare.net/audio/1112764ff2edb2/

My two older kids are over in Seattle visiting the twins and their aunt. This weekend was so quiet here with out them and then Sunday was completely boring. I spent some time on the computer looking for new songs. Some new songs that I found that I really like are

Sober By Kelly Clarkson from her My december cd. you can listen to it here...
http://http://www.zshare.net/audio/23068528b872b2/

Hot by avril lavigne from her Best damn thing cd
http://http://www.zshare.net/audio/259305033edd80/

Shut up and drive by Rihanna
http://http://www.zshare.net/audio/183622372ec051/

and also a umbrella/ cinderalla remix by rihanna and chris brown
http://http://www.zshare.net/audio/2200806287cb22/

Potential breakup song by aly & aj on their Insomniatic cd
http://http://www.zshare.net/audio/1898215438ee4d/


well those are just a few that I like. There are many more but I will post those later.

Tidbits.

So the twins were born on June 12, 2007. 5 years and 1 day ( well 5 minutes) after Sho-sho. We went to see them the Saturday after the kids were all done with school. Everyone but D and Hubby. D wanted to stay home so Hubby would not be alone on Father's day. My dad was going to Seattle too, so that was convenient for me on dad's day. I felt bad about leaving on father's day, but regardless, that was the best time for use to go.

The twins are adorable. There is only a pound difference between Ben and Ella, but you can tell the difference when you are holding them. My sister's hubby was worried about every detail when it came to the babies. But can you blame them after everything they went through to get them? They keep a journal about when the babies ate and when they were changed and so on. I never kept a journal, but maybe it is a must when you have twins to make sure that one baby is not feed more than the other? This made me feel like such a lazy parent compared to when my kids were born.

I took some pictures of the twins, but had such crappy batteries that I did not get any good ones. I got to take about 6 pictures, then the batteries died. (Note: Never buy the dollar batteries at Target.) You can see really cute ones on my sister's blog. One of my favorites is the karate chop one, where Ben looks like he is Karate chopping his sister in his sleep.

Since we have been back I have been on a cleaning frenzy. Well I wanted to reorganize my room when I got back anyway, b/c I had this large 36" TV in there that just was too big for my room and we sent it over to my sister and now I have a large 42" plasma TV in my room. Yeah I know it is bigger, screen wise, but it actually takes up lesser space than the other TV did. My room is very fung shui now and so much more manageable. Also I went through my closet and gave away 3 large garbage bags of clothes. I still have a lot more that I should part with, but am still hoping that I can fit into those size 8's again. Dream on right? But a funny thing it that while cleaning out my closet, I found a x-mas present for Sho-sho. She was so happy to have it, and it being right after her birthday, it didn't bother her that it was suppose to been given to her 6 months prior. It was a Barbie and the 12 dancing princess dance mat and instructional video. So sneezer and sho-sho went over to the neighbor girls' house and they all learned to dance like ballerinas. Unfortunately the joy from this toy was very short lived. She still twirls around everywhere, but just not on the mat.

This last Weds. we all went to the MAC to see SUE. The most complete skeleton of a T-Rex. This was not as exciting as the kids thought it would have been. But they did have a lot of activities for the kids to do. There was a cast molding of the dinosaurs head to show you just how puny you are compared to this thing. Also there were these panoramic views of how dinosaurs saw things. the T-Rex saw things just like we do, but the triceratops saw on the sides of their heads and their heads were sooo huge that you had to look through the eye holes one at a time.

After the MAC we took a walk downtown a picked up a PSP game that was being held for us. On the way back to the car we ran into Fran. This is a girl that use to work for my hubby and now works elsewhere, but has become like a family friend b/c she has a son the same age as CJ. I used to think that she had a thing for my hubby and that was why she hung around so much, but recently found out that she is a bisexual and apparently those hair flinging and nervous talking was b/c of me. He pointed this out to me a few weeks prior and on this day I noticed for the first time that she was always looking at me when she talks to us and not my hubby. HMMM?

Well I need to get some food in my tummy. I will write more later.

They're Here!!!!!

I am not going to add much detail, b/c that is up for the parents, but my new neice and nephew were born last night and they managed to hold on for 5 mintues so Sho-Sho still has her own birthday. That is all for now, I will add more after my sister makes her own announcement!!

Soo Happy!! Congrats Heather and Jon!!!

The Hospital Stole My Shoes!!

The other night, Sneezer had a concert at the Arena. There were all the 5th and 6th graders in district 81 at this which totaled to over 2,000 students. It was wonderful listening to all of them and how much they have learn in one and two years. Unfortunately our car was not ready so we had a day of riding the bus everywhere. After the concert, me and the fam. were waiting for a bus when this lady came around the corner yelling that the hospital had stolen her shoes. I thought it was quite funny b/c the lady was clearly on something. Then moments later, a man came up to my husband and told him that the aliens were leaving. I was on the cell with my mom, so I didn't find out til later what he said. There is quite a crowd downtown at night. Is that when all the crazies come out? I will say one thing though. We got our car back yesterday, ( all fixed, yay!) and we went and did some much needed grocery shopping and on the way out of the store, I saw a National enquirer that said " Aliens are going home" in bold letters on the cover. Hmmm? maybe that crazy guy knew something after all?

So I got a call on weds. night saying that my sister is in the hospital. she went to her U/S appt and they sent her to the OB and then OB sent her to the hospital. apparently she was having contractions and it thinned her cervix and she is now 90% effaced. So they are doing everything to keep those babies in there. They are aiming for 3 more weeks ( at least 34 weeks term) til it should be okay for the babies to come out. They are giving her steroids to strengthen the babies lungs and some trebutaline to stop those contractions. Hopefully all is well and those babies stay in there for a few more weeks.

I wish I could be there for when the babies are born, but unfortunately my kids do not get out of school til mid-June. We can visit them then.

Well that is about all here.
TTFN!

Random Post..

This morning, while cleaning in the girls room, I was getting the DS off of Sneezer's bed and I dropped it and half of the top screen came off! I was really freaking out! But sat down and was able to pop it back into place. Technically this DS is mine, since hubby got a new one in the color that he wanted, but I have been letting the kids play with this one. Sho-sho dropped it last night and while me and the girls were in Seattle, the boys lost the stylus and the part that goes in the "SP" portion of the system. So I have decided to not let them play it anymore. I know that I am the one that dropped it this morning and it is not their fault and they shouldn't be punished because of it, and I am not trying to do that. I just want the DS to be played carefully now. Plus they each have their own SP or micro that they can play, They don't need to be playing my DS.

I am suppose to meet with a friend this weekend that I have not seen in a while and am really looking forward to it and then the car started acting weird and so we had to bring it to the dealer to get it fixed. I told her about the car breaking down and she said that we can meet somewhere closer to my house. That was very nice of her seeing how she lives closer to Mom and Dad.
It turns out that the cars water pump is what was making that noise. So that needs to be fixed along with the oil leak that has not been located yet.


At my sister's shower, the host had her pens done up to look like a flower arrangement. I thought this was a great idea. We are always losing pens in our house and this would be a great way to keep track of them, and look nice too! I just need to get up to Michael's to get the materials to do this. Of course I need to finish other projects that I am working on. The boy blanket for my sister and then I started stripping the paint on this picnic table that my father in-law gave us. It was painted green, BLAH! Green is good on somethings, but not on a picnic table. I was hoping to have that repainted by next weekend. I was wanting to have a Luau/BBQ for Mother's day. My neighbor's birthday happens to land on Mother's day this year and I thought that since she BBQ'd for my b-day, that I would do the same for her.

Well I think that is about all for today. We are going to see the new Spiderman movie tomorrow. The kids, even the girls, are very excited about this film. I hope it is not a let down.

Well! Until next time.

Please Bare With Me...

For those of you who read my blog and my sister's, you know that we have a troll among us that was once berating my sister on her blog and now, with all these better things she has to do, is now attempting to cause problems on mine. So this is a final message to her.

I have been reading your messages, but you should know that only I can see them. They will not be posted on my blogs and they do not have any effect on me. You can not belittle me, you can not put me down, as much as you try. I know who I am and no one can tell me otherwise. My blog yesterday was not put there to try and gain responses. I do not crave the attention that you so desperately seek. That blog was placed there to let you know that I know who/what you are and I will not have it anymore. Your attempt to cause friction here has failed and I laugh at your desperate ongoing attempts. This will be the last time I acknowledge you, so if you feel the need to cause negative energy, you will need to go elsewhere.


For the visitors of my blog that have seen any comments from this "troll" I would like to apologize.

To all, Have a wonderful day!

Until Next time.
Trina

WARNING: TROLL ALERT!!

What is an Internet Troll?

An Internet "troll" is a person who delights in sowing discord on the Internet. He (and it is usually he) tries to start arguments and upset people.Trolls see Internet communications services as convenient venues for their bizarre game. For some reason, they don't "get" that they are hurting real people. To them, other Internet users are not quite human but are a kind of digital abstraction. As a result, they feel no sorrow whatsoever for the pain they inflict. Indeed, the greater the suffering they cause, the greater their 'achievement' (as they see it). At the moment, the relative anonymity of the net allows trolls to flourish.Trolls are utterly impervious to criticism (constructive or otherwise). You cannot negotiate with them; you cannot cause them to feel shame or compassion; you cannot reason with them. They cannot be made to feel remorse. For some reason, trolls do not feel they are bound by the rules of courtesy or social responsibility.

Why does it Matter?

Some people -- particularly those who have been online for years -- are not upset by trolls and consider them an inevitable hazard of using the net. As the saying goes, "You can't have a picnic without ants."It would be nice if everybody was so easy-going, but the sad fact is that trolls do discourage people. Established posters may leave a message board because of the arguments that trolls ignite, and lurkers (people who read but do not post) may decide that they do not want to expose themselves to abuse and thus never get involved.Another problem is that the negative emotions stirred up by trolls leak over into other discussions. Normally affable people can become bitter after reading an angry interchange between a troll and his victims, and this can poison previously friendly interactions between long-time users.Finally, trolls create a paranoid environment, such that a casual criticism by a new arrival can elicit a ferocious and inappropriate backlash.The Internet is a wonderful resource which is breaking down barriers and stripping away prejudice. Trolls threaten our continued enjoyment of this beautiful forum for ideas.

<...snip...>

The Webmaster's Challenge

When trolls are ignored they step up their attacks, desperately seeking the attention they crave. Their messages become more and more foul, and they post ever more of them. Alternatively, they may protest that their right to free speech is being curtailed -- more on this later.The moderator of a message board may not be able to delete a troll's messages right away, but their job is made much harder if they also have to read numerous replies to trolls. They are also forced to decide whether or not to delete posts from well-meaning folks which have the unintended effect of encouraging the troll.Some webmasters have to endure conscientious users telling them that they are "acting like dictators" and should never delete a single message. These people may be misinformed: they may have arrived at their opinion about a troll based on the messages they see, never realizing that the webmaster has already deleted his most horrific material. Please remember that a troll does have an alternative if he has something of value to say: there are services on the net that provide messaging systems free of charge. So the troll can set up his own message board, where he can make his own decisions about the kind of content he will tolerate.Just how much can we expect of a webmaster when it comes to preserving the principles of free speech? Some trolls find sport in determining what the breaking point is for a particular message board operator. They might post a dozen messages, each of which contains 400 lines of the letter "J". That is a form of expression, to be sure, but would you consider it your duty to play host to such a person?Perhaps the most difficult challenge for a webmaster is deciding whether to take steps against a troll that a few people find entertaining. Some trolls do have a creative spark and have chosen to squander it on being disruptive. There is a certain perverse pleasure in watching some of them. Ultimately, though, the webmaster has to decide if the troll actually cares about putting on a good show for the regular participants, or is simply playing to an audience of one -- himself.

What about Free Speech?

When trolls find that their efforts are being successfully resisted, they often complain that their right to free speech is being infringed. Let us examine that claim.While most people on the Internet are ardent defenders of free speech, it is not an absolute right; there are practical limitations. For example, you may not scream out "Fire!" in a crowded theatre, and you may not make jokes about bombs while waiting to board an airplane. We accept these limitations because we recognize that they serve a greater good.Another useful example is the control of the radio frequency spectrum. You might wish to set up a powerful radio station to broadcast your ideas, but you cannot do so without applying for a license. Again, this is a practical limitation: if everybody broadcasted without restriction, the repercussions would be annoying at best and life-threatening at worst.The radio example is helpful for another reason: with countless people having a legitimate need to use radio communications, it is important to ensure that nobody is 'monopolizing the channel'. There are only so many clear channels available in each frequency band and these must be shared.When a troll attacks a message board, he generally posts a lot of messages. Even if his messages are not particularly inflammatory, they can be so numerous that they drown out the regular conversations (this is known as 'flooding'). Needless to say, no one person's opinions can be allowed to monopolize a channel.

The ultimate response to the 'free speech' argument is this: while we may have the right to say more or less whatever we want, we do not have the right to say it wherever we want. You may feel strongly about the fact that your neighbor has not mowed his lawn for two months, but you do not have the right to berate him in his own living room. Similarly, if a webmaster tells a troll that he is not welcome, the troll has no "right" to remain. This is particularly true on the numerous free communications services offered on the net. (On pay systems, the troll might be justified in asking for a refund.)

Conclusion

Next time you are on a message board and you see a post by somebody whom you think is a troll, and you feel you must reply, simply write a follow-up message entitled "Troll Alert" and type only this:The only way to deal with trolls is to limit your reaction to reminding others not to respond to trolls.By posting such a message, you let the troll know that you know what he is, and that you are not going to get dragged into his twisted little hobby.

Sleeping in Seattle!

The girls and I went over to Seattle this past weekend to visit my very pregnant sister and also to go to her baby shower. On the drive over I made and little hat that matches the girl blanket that I made. Now I just need to get working on that boys one before the twins decide to make an appearance. It was fun going to her baby shower. I met some people that she knew from blog land and others that she knew through work and other various places. It was nice to see all of them, most of them I already knew. I was disappointed, however, that one of her co-worker's did not bring her daughter, as her daughter is the same age as my older daughter and we get a lot of hand me downs from her that sho-sho enjoys. The games that we played were lots of fun and I was lucky to win one of them. The candy bar reference one. I have played that at so many showers that I knew a lot of them already. It was funny hearing all the ones that people put down.

After the shower, we went back to my sister's and helped get her nursery set up. That was fun b/c I never had a nursery for any of my little ones. They always had shared rooms, and well when Sneezer was little, I was staying with mom and dad while Hubby was away job training. Anyway, we got a lot done and I hope she is happy with how things are. She definitely has enough clothes for them for the first year at least. And some items she had an over load of, but I guess it is nice to have extras and she can store those at grandparents houses and such.

We got back home yesterday and just as I thought, there was no cleaning done at all, so I had to start cleaning the kitchen as soon as I got home. There was this smell in the kitchen that I don't know if it was from the litter box or the sink, but I cleaned both and things are much better now. Since I got most of the things done last night, I guess I can work on other things today. maybe a little on the boy blanket and a little outside. I really need to get some gas for the lawn mower and a new blade for it too. The back yard desperately needs to be cut.

Well I guess I will be off now and work on other things.

TTFN!!

Las Vegas trip.... Part II

I know I said I was going to post about this yesterday, but things got really busy here and well I had no time. So here are the det's of Thurs. in Vegas.....

My 2nd day in Vegas and I woke up at 7:30 in the morning. Hubby told me to go back to bed, but I could not sleep. So I decided to go for a walk through the hotel. I went down to the main floor and back to the shop where we got the saline solution and bought some Visine to clear up my very blood shot eyes. I thought my contacts had done this so I kept my contacts off for the rest of the morning. While walking around, I decided to check in with the kids and chatted with Sneezer while trying to find my way around this hotel. I went up the first set of escalators I came across, but that just brought me up to the arcade, which was not open. So I went back down to the main floor and found another set of escalators and found that all the shops up there were closed, but Starbucks and krispy kreme were open. I could not find the shops that hubby showed me the day before. So Sneezer (who was on the phone) suggested finding a map and there was one right in front of me, so I went and took a look. It was all so confusing so I just decided to go back to the room and wait for hubby to get up. I got back to the room and showered and then waited. I decided to play my DS while I was waiting for hubby to budge. BY 9 the roller coaster started going by, and I thought that would have at least woken hubby up. Finally 10 came and I asked hubby if that was too early to get up and then finally he started moving.

We left the room, went down and got a Starbucks and a cheese danish for me and then proceeded over to the MGM Grand hotel, where we came across the Indiana Jones slot machines. so we sat and played for a bit and once again $40. gone just like that. Twenty from each of us. So then we got up and headed over to the Monorail to head to the Hilton Hotel to see the Star Trek experience. Once we got there, we went in to the Bar and watched one of the Star Trek movies ,( there were several playing on different TVs through out the restaurant and bar) so we parked ourselves on the bar stool and order and Ramoline beer, which was basically and regular beer tinted blue. While we were waiting for our beers, this guy at the end of the bar threw this furry ball over my way. I, not being a huge Star Trekkie, don't know the name of it. But I have seen the episode that these things are from, but thought it was a bar thing that just rolled around. Hubby and this guy got a good laugh at me freaking out. Haha! :P So then we finished up our beers and then proceeded to the Star trek experience tour. The first feature (ride) that we went on was the Borg invasion. This was a 4-d attraction and the "ride" made me feel very nauseous, probably from not eating too much and having a beer when I should have been eating lunch Or maybe from the 4-d glasses that had to be worn for this feature? After the "ride" we went back to the bar that we had our beers and this time order some food. We ordered this drink that was so big that we had to share it, It had a total of 10 shots in it , I believe. I don't remember the name, but it was something about getting "warped". It was blue and had dry ice in the bottom of it so it steamed while you were drinking it. After our drink we went back through to ride the second "ride", The Klingon encounter. This was another cheesy ride , but I don't remember much of this one, probably from that "warped" drink. But this one was alot more entertaining as it gave us a sky line view of Las Vegas. Of course it was video, but it was still nice to see.

The rest of the trip was pretty cloudy. I know the things that I did, but I don't remember the sequence or what hotel we were at. I blame this on the unfamiliar and also the fact that you can order a drink and walk all over Las Vegas with it. We did get back on the monorail and then head back to the hotels closer to ours, and then walked around a bit. We went to Caesar's palace and watched the Atlantis show and got drinks at a fat tuesday's, though we have on here in Spokane. We played the Indiana Jones slot game again and then that night we watched the Cirque de Soleil's Zumanity. After the show, we walked around some more and then I decided to call it a night, but hubby went to play poker and one of the poker tables we saw at MGM. This night he left with double what he went in with. Oh we also ate at a buffet at I don't know what hotel, but it was crappy. The food was good, at least what I had was, but the service was horrible. And very over priced for what little they had.

Friday we woke up and ate lunch at a fish shop where we had fish and fries. We got our espressos and then went to the Shark Reef at Mandalay Bay. This was very nice and then had a recorded feature so if you wanted to know more about a certain fish in a aquarium, it was there to tell you. We got to touch the same kind of sting ray that killed Steve Irwin. They are very slimy and so cool to watch, but yet so dangerous. It was so peaceful and serene to watch the fish. There was one point when me and hubby went to sit down and I could have fallen asleep in there.

We walked every where that day. We grabbed a drink at the Treasure Island hotel and continued to walk trying to cross the street to get to the Paris hotel. (I had to get a matching balloon cup for the one my parents got me a few years back.) It took us an hour or so just to cross the street. Along the way, at some point, we went to the Venetian hotel, this was very nice and they had the water Gondola's that went through the hotel. I wanted to ride on that , but we couldn't find where you got on. We were across the street when the water show in front of the Bellagio went off, so we stayed and watched that for a bit. We went to Madame Tussauds wax museum. I liked that, but some parts were stupid. Like the "haunted" section. This had live action people and the guy that did the intro was dorky and actually spit on my face while he was talking. I didn't like that too much and I was laughing at all the people, I don't think they like that.We went to MGM grand and played the Indiana Jones game one last time. This time as i was witting there, this guy came up and sat next to me and asked if her had to bet the max to win. I said no, you don't have to bet all the lines, but you need to bet the max amount to get anything, so he sat down and put in his money and after about 3 times he hit the jackpot!!! WTF? He only won about $50. b/c it was a nickel slot, but still! Man, If only I sat one seat over!! You know? We had a very good Buffet at the MGM Grand. It was so much better than the one the night before and they had Creme brule for dessert. I love creme brule, though I don't think I spelled it right. We did not do anything the rest of the night. After we ate dinner, we head back to our room, got our flight info and then went over to the MGM and got our boarding passes for our flight home. Then we went back to our room dropped off the stuff and then went over to Excalibur. I don't remember what we went there for? But then went back to our room and called it a night.

Saturday morning, Hubby had to wake me up. I was so exhausted. We checked out of our hotel and checked our luggage to the bag boys at the front of the hotel. Then we went and got some lunch, this time we just had hot dogs and chili fries. While eating our lunch, I saw the Zumanity shop and decided to go and take a look. There were some book and stuff that I would have liked, but did not want to spend that much money on it. I bet I could find it online for cheaper.

After lunch, we went shopping around for things for the kids. We got the girls just some t-shirts that said Las Vegas and the boy got some dragon shirts from the Excalibur. I saw alot of baby things I wanted to get my sister, but they were either over priced or not in a small enough size.

All in all, I had fun in Vegas. I would like to go back again. My advice for visiting Vegas, if you are going to gamble set a limit. it can be so over whelming and you find your self thinking, I will win on the next one, and then just like that, your money is gone. Wear comfortable shoes, you will be doing so much walking that if you wear sandals or anything with no support your feet will kill you. And finally, If you are at an attraction and they ask to take you photo, say no, that is their way of making more money off of you and after they snap your photo, they have the right to do what ever they want with it.

My trip to Vegas....part 1.

Since I don't really have alot of time to sit in front of the computer this week, I thought I would break my trip down into parts. So this part one will be the first day of our trip.

I woke up at 5:30 am to wash the last load of clothes before we left. Got up and took a shower around 7 and finished getting ready and packed the last bit of items. My brother arrived here shortly after 8 and then I went over to the store and picked up some munchies and pop for the kids and my brother. When I got back, my hubby loaded the car with our luggage. Sho-sho gave me a big hug before we left but the other kids just went off to school like it was no other day. We left the house around 9:30. We arrived at the airport and check in our luggage. The airport has changed alot since I flown last. You had to take of your shoes and jacket, which I thought was strange, b/c I was wearing flip flops, I mean what could I possibly hide in there?
So we proceeded on to the terminal and then we had about a hour and a half to wait for our plane. and that would be no biggie at any other airport, but there is absolutely nothing to do in the Spokane airport. So after a bit, our plain arrive and we were part of the first group to board and of course hubby had to have the window seat. We had to land in Boise first. This was not on our printed flight plan, but I guess it was a scheduled stop. I took this opportunity to call and check on my brother and the kids since it was past noon that we landed in Boise. Then after a few minutes our flight took off and we were on our way to Reno where we had to switch planes. Upon arriving, the first thing we saw was an I-pod vending machine! And it had every little accessory and I-pod that you could think of, in every color that they have available. So after checking this out we went and checked the schedule and saw that our flight to Vegas was delayed by at least an hour. So we got a bite to eat and looked at the slot machines that were scattered everywhere. Then we got on our flight to Vegas and arrived there around 4:30. This airport was so big that we had to catch the Tram to go to our luggage. They had a whole separate building for baggage claim and this things was gigantic compared to Spokane. You could probably fit our whole airport in just the baggage claim!!! So we left there and check in for our shuttle to the hotel. We got to the New York New York hotel and there was just so much to take in. There were slots machines everywhere, trees inside the building,and the shops were lined up to look like a New york street. There was also a river that ran through the casino floor.
We checked into our room and went up to the 22nd floor, where we had the most amazing view of the roller coaster that came by right in front of our room, we could see down the strip and Excalibur was right across the street. I opted to take a shower after feeling ill from all the taking off and landing that we had to do.
After the shower, Hubby gave me a tour of the hotel. There were 2 Starbucks and 2 Krispy Kremes just in the hotel. We found Coyote Ugly and got a drink from the outside bar and then proceeded to walk over to the Excalibur b/c hubby said our show started at 9 and we had about an hour to kill over there. We walked around the casino there and then went down to the arcade, where hubby was determined to win a Spiderman or Venom stuffed doll. but we didn't. We then went into our show, it was the Tournament of Knights. We were in the Hungary group, it was jus tme and hubby sitting there and then this family of 5 with 3 very small children come down and we find that they have the seats right next to me. The Mom and Dad were huge!!and i was hoping that they would seat one of their kids next to me, but no it was the dad so I had very little elbow room. But I guess that was okay, so then I could just sit closer to hubby. The dinner was not all that good. We had a cornish game hen with steamed broccoli head, potato wedges and a roll. The chicken was good, but because of the steamed broccoli everything else was soggy. Unfortunately our knight did not win the tournament. But we got a couple of very cool beer steins from here.
After the show we went back over to the Spiderman game, but once again did not win one. We then started heading back over to our hotel. Oh I forgot, on the way to Excalibur are these Jetson's type walkways, where you just have to stand on them and they move for you! Nice huh? Hubby says that it is for the drunk people, but unfortunately there is not one of these ramps that lead out of the hotel. We got back to our hotel around 12 am and I just wanted to take my contacts out, so we went over to the newspaper store inside our hotel and bought some saline solution and then went up to the room to take my contacts out. Then we went back down and walked around for a little bit more. We walked over and looked at the poker tables were hubby wanted to get in on one and me not being a poker player, decided to play a couple of slot machines. And me not knowing how these things work, lost $40. just like that. So me feeling soo unlucky I decided to go up to the room and Hubby stayed down and played his poker game.

I sat up in the room and watched TV until hubby came up to the room around 2:30 or so and had some to go from one of the bars down on the main floor. We had some mozzarella sticks and some thing else that my hubby had that I don't remember b/c I didn't want any. Hubby said that he did not win anything, so at the end of the day, we gave our hotel about $100. And that is day one and now I need to go and do other stuff to get ready for the baby shower this weekend. I will continue on with Thurs. tomorrow.

Has good karma returned?

I wish!!! No last night as we were getting ready for bed, D realized that he left a toy outside and just had to get it. So, it being dark outside, I left the door open to watch him while he was looking for it. And being that normal that dogs will try and run out when the door is open, I was blocking them and not even watching the cats and then Shaak ti goes running out the front door and takes off and hides under our neighbor's RV. She is a very clever cat and changed her directions every time she was with in arms reach of me. It finally took two of us to catch her and bring her back into the house. Then after that, My husband was wondering where the big suitcase was and I told him that I brought in all the suit cases I saw in the garage. I had no idea that there was a bigger one than the two i had already brought in. So I went out to the garage again and did not have any luck finding it. Then I came in the house to tell my husband this and a few seconds later I hear " oh here it is!" It was in the house the whole time. Nice huh? So then I went and got settle into bed, sore from cleaning all day and now my knee, elbow and back hurt from scraps that accord during the trapping of the cat. I am laying in bed and then I hear yelling in the living room. apparently CJ dropped the newly found Micro gameboy into the toilet. I say newly found b/c after cleaning the girls room, it was found. So CJ was just not happy about this. We told him it was an accident and that it will probably work again after it dries out, but he was still upset. But after waking up this morning, we found that the Micro still works and did just need to dry out.

So after all the bad things that have happened the last couple of days, I have decided to see the positive. Yes I lost the diamond out of my ring, but at least I found it, Yes I broke the jar, but we have others, and yes the cat got out, but she is back in, we found the suitcase, and even though the micro was dropped in the toilet, it is still working and I think CJ learned his lesson about peeing and playing at the same time... ;P


Oh and one more thing before I go... tomorrow morning I will be leaving for Vegas with my Hubby and will be gone til saturday!! It will be so nice to not have to cook, clean and watch little ones for the next few days. although I will miss them at some point, I will soak in every second of that freedom!!!!

Bad Karma?

The past week there has been negative energy flowing through my house. Me and My husband were arguing constantly and neither one of us know why? We would argue about the little things, " why did you make that noise? Why did you say it like that?" Stupid things like that. We finally figured out on Friday that we were fighting just for the sake of fighting. So it stopped and we had a good Saturday of shopping and Sunday was going well until I was carrying a basket of laundry downstairs and while setting it down I felt my ring snag a little. Upon examining my hand, I found the diamond from my engagement ring was no longer there. I screamed out "OH SHIT!" But being that the kids were outside and my husband was cat napping on the couch, no one answered. So I frantically searched for my diamond and finally found it on the floor in my room. But there was no possible way for me to replace the diamond and the shop that my husband got it from is no longer in business. I have the ring and the diamond in a little baggy on the computer desk. I feel so naked with out it on.
After this took place, I went outside to see what the kids were up too and to get some fresh air, as I was tearing up a bit. While out there I saw my neighbor, Brandie, jogging up and down the street, while her daughter followed on her bike. I like this girl, she is very nice but I just think she needs to grow up a bit. She came and sat on the front porch with me and was telling me how she was going to buy a house out in Springdale. I was polite and showed my joy for her, but after she left I was like " How does she think she is going to buy a house when she has no money for a down payment, no money for the closing costs, and she has been on food stamps the last couple of months." If she thinks she can afford a house payment and all that it entails to keep a house up, when she can't even afford her rent, she has another thing coming to her. So tired of listening to her "la la land" fantasies, I decided to go to the back yard and talk with Tanya, who was working in her garden in her back yard. We couldn't figure out why some of her plants were doing do well when mine, of the same plant, were dead. I lost my raspberries along with the flowers I mention in a previous post. But on the bright side, my cherry trees might have cherries this year. They have several blooms on them and if we are lucky, they will turn in to cherries!

So then here we are this morning. Did the bad luck go away? No! this morning, while taking all the bedding down to the laundry room, I knock over a large pickle jar that the kids have been using as a piggy bank. The loud crash woke Sho-sho up and she came out to tell me not to hurt myself. her exact words were " Mommy don't get hurt to yourself" Her little 4 year old lingo is so cute. So I got the jar cleaned up and then continued taking the bedding downstairs. I have so much to do in just two days. I have to clean my whole house and all the bedding so that when my brother and mom stay here, it is clean for them. Most of the house is clean with just the regular routine to do, along with cleaning the bathroom, and getting the girls to clean their room, but I doubt they will! I think I will take some things and store them downstairs while we are gone so that there will be more space for them. My room especially is very clustered. I still need to do something with all the clothes my sister gave me.

I just heard the washer stop, so it is time for the next load.

Until next time.....

my finds.

I went out shopping yesterday with Sho-sho and we found these Star Wars playing cards that I thought my husband would love. And he did, but when I told him where I found them. he went to that store and bought the rest that was still there and gave the ones that I bought to the boys. this kind of upset me b/c it made me feel like the ones I bought weren't good enough so he had to buy his own and then he just tossed mine aside to the boys where they are sure to get wrecked!!

I was hoping that today would have been a nice day to finish up some yard work, but now looking outside I can see the clouds coming in. I haven't checked the news yet so I don't know what the forecast is for today?

I was thinking about things to do during the flight to Vegas next week. with all the restrictions now I don't know. can I listen to my I-pod while crocheting the blankets? would they consider the crochet hook a weapon? Is the I-pod something that they don't allow? I have not flown since before D was born( or conceived for that matter) so I am no sure on how things are now.
Does anyone know or know where I can find out?

well that is it for today. have a good weekend all you might read this!

This week in the yard.

I did a lot of well needed yard work the past couple of days. On Tuesday I raked up all the dead grass in the front and yesterday I cleaned the back yard and weeded in part of the flower beds in back. i was very disappointed to find that a lot of my plants had died b/c of the wacky weather we have been having. my daisies died, and not just one plant, but all three!! My lavender plant looked dead, but the roots still looked okay so I left them to see how things turn out. a lot of my Hollyhocks died but I had enough of those growing everywhere that I was able to fill in the gaps.

I have got sunflowers popping up everywhere again this year, but I think I will pull those and only have a few this year. There were just too many last year.

I lost a lot of my garden due to the building of the back porch. So I decided to fill in that patch of dirt with grass and just have my garden along the border of the yard. I already lost that big chunk and now my husband says that he wants me to turn another part along the driveway into grass too. we are having problems with our dog, Chewy, eating rocks again and my husband thinks that if there is grass there, then he will not be eating rocks. two things about this though, 1) that dog can dig and he will dig 2 feet straight down just to get a rock and 2) most of the yard that was grass, isn't grass now b/c his dad messed it up with all the construction and failure to clean up his own mess. But I don't want to get in on about his dad. The point is that i already lost a big chunk of my garden with all the porches that were built and now he wants me to turn more of it into grass? I don't think so! I put to much hard work into that to have it just be grass again. and the whole reason why i took the grass out in the first place was because it would never grow. and it might look bad now, b/c there is only dirt there, but when the other plants and flowers start coming in, it will look really nice.

well anyway, after two days of yard work,(and not even being half done) my body and hands and well everything, are killing me. I really need to start wearing the gardening gloves, b/c my hands are all roughed up now.

This will be a quiet weekend and then we got stuff going on for the next few weekends. next weekend and well part of the week too, me and hubby are going to Vegas. it is my first time there so I don't really know what to expect and then the weekend at the end of the month is my sister's baby shower over in Seattle, where me and the girls will be going over with mom. In may we have birthday's and mother's day in which this year my neighbor's birthday lands on mother's day. I need to make sure to give her a gift for both. She was so nice, on my birthday she gave me a candle set and then her husband grilled us some hamburgers. I just need to remember to return the favor. I think maybe this year , if the weather is nice, we should have a BBQ for mother's day? and then in June we got Sho-Sho's birthday and perhaps at the end of the month we will be having the twins arriving and me and the girls will be heading back over to help out some.

Well off to do some things and finish cleaning the house a bit.

Have a good day to whomever might read this!!

No child should be treated this way!!

My name is Chris
I am three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I cant do a wrong
I cant speak at all
Or else I'm locked up
All day long.
When I'm awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home
When my mommy
does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Chariles bar.
I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work.
He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door
Hes already locked it
And i start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much to late
His face has been twisted
Into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door
While i lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor
My name is Chris
I am three,
Tonight my daddy
Murdered me
And you can help
Sickens me to the soul,
And if you read this
and don't pass it on
I pray for your forgiveness
Because you would have to be
One heartless person
To not be affected
By this Poem
And because you are affected
Do something about it!
So all i ask you to do
Is pass it on.



If you think a child is being
Abused or neglected,
Don't look the other way
Help keep them protected.

The Four Sneezes and the jinxing daughter

This weekend we went out shopping for various things and during this time we usually split up in the store, (Girls with me, boys with hubby) and then call on the cell when either one of us is ready to go and then we meet up and leave. This particular day we went to Target and there must have been something in the air in the store b/c I just could not stop sneezing. Sneezer, my oldest daughter, was pointing out that I sneeze funny, like a little kid or something? high pitched? But then later as we were walking to another store up the way, I sneeze again and my Hubby points out that my sneezes come in fours and that my father is the same way. So now, ofcourse, everytime I start sneezing, I find myself counting them and there is alway 4. Three little sneezes and one big one to finish it. Weird?

Lately i have noticed that me and my oldest have either been able to finish each other sentences, communicate without talking , answer a question before it was asked, and often we say the same thing at the same time. I guess she is just turning into me. I just hope she is not too much like me, if you get what I am saying?

That is all for today.

Yoddel!

Pondering....

So! Update on Dad first. I saw him last week and he has lost alot of the water weight or whatever it was. He has been put on this diet that doesn't sound half bad. He can not eat frozen foods or fast food and has to watch his sodium intake, which he in fact was doing so well with that, that they told him that his sodium levels were too low and he could add some more sodium to his diet. But he definitely does not have the man pregnancy look anymore. Which is very good. but the thing that got me was when my youngest asked what his pills were and I said that those were what grandpa has to take to keep him alive. There was a stone silence after that. I think I came to the realization of what he is going through.

On another note, and the thing that I am pondering right now. In thinking of my sister and everything she has gone through to become pregnant. Do you forfeit the right to complain about pregnancy things when you have worked so hard to get there? My opinion is no! when you become pregnant, no matter how you get there, you should have the right to experience every thing and react to it how you want. I mean, if you wanted a dog so bad, but then after you got one and it shit on your bed, of course you are going to complain about the dog, but doesn't mean that you are not happy that you have one. I know I know , bad analogy. But you get what I am saying. This all came about b/c of a nasty comment left on my sister's blog. It just disturbs me that people think that just because you went through infertilty and you have "help" getting pregnant that that makes you immune to pain or discomfort. I mean, do you lose your right to be uncomfortable? your right to complain? isn't that what the blog is for? To express you feelings and thoughts? If your back hurts and your 5 months pregnant with twins and you want to go get a massage, don't you have the right to talk about wanting a massage? I would think so. and when those kids are say, 3 years old and they decide to draw on the walls, are you not allowed to disipline them b/c you wanted it so badly. This person made her sound so selfish. well i say, and because this is my blog, I Say, all those people who think that IF people can't complain, well first F**k off and second, kiss my BIG WHITE ASS!!!!

Just felt like it....

Good Friday morning! just posting a blog out of boredom! This week has been an exhausting one. Tuesday Had to drive out to the valley to pick up a prescription and then drove out to Liberty Lake to visit dad, ( and to steal, I mean borrow some DVDs). Dad is doing good considering the circumstances. He was sitting up watching TV when I got there and did walk around a bit too. Though he is walking around like a very pregnant woman, he is still walking. The swelling has gone down a little but not much. I plan to visit again sometime this weekend, or perhaps on Monday since the kids are out of school. I would visit them more often but I live on the north side of Spokavegas and they live in Liberty Lake. For those who are not familiar with the area, it is about a 45 minute drive, even longer when there is snow on the ground.

So after visiting dad, I got the kids from school, came home a did home work and then went off to the library, downtown. We spent about an hour there and then we were off to pick up Hubby. On the way home we went to pick up D's prescription from the pharmacy and there was only one girl working the register and about 30 people picking up prescription. So we figured we have one more pill for tomorrow so we bagged it and went on home. ate dinner ,went to bed. exciting huh?

Then about 4 am on Weds. morning, I get woken by the sound of crying followed by puking!!! D was sick. We thought maybe it was from the steak that we ate the night before, (b/c it did not taste right to me or Hubby), but no one else got sick but D. So he stayed home on Weds. He was not throwing up anymore, but was extremely tired. So I kept him home and CJ too, so I wouldn't have to take D outside to get CJ from the bus stop. So that was a fun day of playing Zelda and 3 Screaming kids all day long!!!

And now we are on to Thurs. The Kids have late start on Thursday's so they have to ride the bus b/c Hubby has to be at work by 8:45. and taking them would make them be there too early. So everything was going fine. thought D was over his vomiting , when we were all ready to go, we couldn't find D. He was in the bathroom with a upset stomach. So, knowing how uncomfortable that is to be away from home with an upset stomach, I had him stay home. But sent CJ to school since I figure D should be able to walk to the bus stop this time. So we watched Superman yesterday. D and Hubby had already watched it in theatres while Me and the other kids watched Cars. Hubby back then said that he thought it was stupid and after watching it I can see why. The movie is good, I rather enjoyed it and watched it again later with Sneezer. But I think Hubby didn't like it b/c it is a love story between Louis and Superman. But then again they all kind of are. I am still baffled why no one can tell that Clark is Superman. hmmm? Especially Louis, seeing how she claims that she loves him. I think I will watch "Thank you for smoking" today. I also watched " Open Water" on Weds. Not all that exciting of a film, but I think that fact that it really happened is what keeps you watching it.

So now here we are on Friday. D woke up with an upset stomach again, but Hubby felt that 3 days of no school would be to much, so he went off to school today and here I am on the computer, Sho-sho in the bedroom watching Disney. The house is quiet! Surprisingly even the dogs are quiet, oh wait, crap I left one of them outside. BRB!...... Okay he is in now. well that would explain why the dogs were quiet. Ha!

well I suppose i should get some more cleaning done. Thanks for listening to my babbling and have a great weekend!

Yodel!

An embarassing story in the midst of all the kidney trauma!

So dad is doing well and might get to go home today or tomorrow. for more info on that, please check my sister's blog. But on to the funny story.....

A funny thing I have to share that is somewhat personal but I laughed my head off last night and I need to share. Okay a few years ago, when we just had Sneezer, Hubby bought me a Dildo for Valentine's day. Well it was meant to be like a joke b/c he was training in Vancouver and blah blah blah. So anyway, it has never been used, but not something to leave out in the open when you have 4 kids running around. So Hubby had it tucked away in his underwear drawer, (b/c it smells funky and I did not want it in mine, b/c I just don't want it anyway) So anyway, CJ has started this fascination with wearing Hubby's T-shirts to bed and he went in my room to get one. Me and Sneezer were already in there watching american idol, and CJ pulls that thing out and is like "what...is this?" so I start laughing, (even more b/c I was already laughing at idol) and jump up to put it away. so then I got CJ (5) confused asking what that is and Sneezer (11) with a confused look as to why there is a plastic penis in daddy's drawer. Then to make it even funnier, CJ goes out to Hubby and asks him why there was a big pink penie in his drawer. OMG I was laughing so hard. And then having to explain to Sneezer that daddy was being a smart ass years ago and bought that for me on Valentine's day. She was still confused what it was used for, but I was not going to tell her that.

OMG could you imagine the embarassment? But I just wanted to share b/c how often does that happen really?

back to the old routine

Well the kids are back in school and I am back to the old routine of waking up, getting them off to school and then having absolutely nothing to do but clean all day! Fun! We had a somewhat good Christmas. It has been spread out over the weeks and we still have to exchange some gifts due to all the ailments in our family. It started out with just having colds so we knew we were not going to be able to go over to the in-laws,(Bummer) due to my MIL being on chemo right now. But then on Weds. night (27th), Sho-sho developed a fever that would not go down with medicine, so Thurs. we went to the ER and found that she had 2 very bad ear infections and a fever of 103.5. When they we able to get her temps. down to 101.1 they sent us home with a lot of antibiotics and other pain relievers/fever reducers. Needless to say this, along with the pass and issues at hubby's work, we were not able to make the trip to Seattle to see my sister.

This year hasn't really been much of a Christmas. I mean, Christmas is about spending time with family, eating a meal with them and all that. But this year, it just seemed like a gift exchange. "let's drop off those presents and pick up these and mail those ones and.....". My parents went to Seattle to see my sister and we were too sick to go over to the in-laws on Christmas day and then the plans of a belated Christmas at my sisters was cancelled because of various things. I just hope that next year will be better and we can do the usual Christmas celebrations that we do and maybe some new ones?

As for gift wise, I am happy about that. The kids got everything they wanted and more, and I got a Ipod I have been wanting, along with a tea kettle. I don't know what it is about it, but I love hearing a tea kettle whistle. And I got a slow cooker. I don't know how much I will be using it and I am not exactly sure why I wanted one, I guess just to know that I have one? But now I need to learn stuff to make in it. I have already gotten plenty of use out of my tea kettle and the dogs completely freak out when the whistle goes. it is funny!

Well that is all for now.

Oh and my dog completely bounce back that day. He had a rock blocking his intestines and pooped it right out. He immediately started being his old self. I guess it is called Pica. (the consumption of inedible objects.) Well we got him a lot of chew toys now, so hopefully he will not have a craving for rocks anymore.