Early Friday morning

Here I am at the end of another week. It is 8:38 am and the house is quiet. Sneezer went to school at 7:30 for her chorale, the boys left a little bit ago with dad, and Sho-sho is still sleeping.

It is quiet and I am sitting here just thinking about things. I'm scared. And not just about the biopsy and my breast, but about many things. My sister is pregnant with twins. She has gone through so much to get where she is and I hope and pray that everything goes well with those babies and her.

I woke up about 4 this morning b/c of a pain in my left hip. I thought maybe I was just sleeping wrong so I switched sides. But then when I woke up this morning, it hurt soo bad to walk on that leg. About a month or so ago, I started getting this weird feeling in my foot. occasionally when I moved my foot a certain way, I would get this tingling feeling. It never went away, but it was not enough to bug me or get in the way off my usual routine. So I forgot about it. Monday I started having dizzy spells. I thought maybe it was just butterflies b/c I had never had a mammogram done before. But Tues. I was still having them and then by Weds. I was dizzy all day, especially when I move my head certain ways or turned to fast or got up to fast. I feel like my body is falling apart on me and there is nothing I can do about it. I have been having a lot of acid reflex also. I don't feel like I have heartburn, but then suddenly out of no where I vomit a little in my mouth, mostly after bending over. My mom thinks the dizziness is from a cold. But I don't really have much of a cold. but maybe I have a head cold or something. I have found myself forgetting things. For example, Tues. night, my mom called and asked if the Dr.'s office had called yet, I didn't have a clue what she was talking about, and then she said " to set up your appt. for the biopsy". Aha? You would think I would remember something like that, huh? It is like when I go to sleep, the whole day erases and then when I wake up, it takes awhile for me to remember what just happened the day before. Is that just me? Do other people do that? I have gone to sleep angry with my husband and then wake up the next day like nothing happened. and then he is off to work and then hours later I remember, " shit I was still pissed with him!". Many arguments have ended this way. Does anyone else do that? For as long as I can remember I have been like that. Another thing was that I could not recall what the Dr said on Monday. was I suppose to wait there and then they were going to do the biopsy that day? I was freaking b/c no one ever called me from my Gyn. office. Maybe I was suppose to wait there? maybe that was why he said it could all be done by phone? I don't know? But I called yesterday, and after many, many phone calls,( b/c the gal scheduling it, was totally out of it) I finally got my appt. set for the 7th at 12:45. I am not too nervous about the fact that they are going to stick a needle in my boob, but mostly for the out come. I read that even if it is not cancerous, they might still want to remove the cysts. which means either way, I l might have surgery and a scar.
My husband said to me once that he doesn't know anyone else that has been in the hospital as many times as I have. I cannot count on two hands home many times I have been in the hospital. 4+ times for kids, 2+ times for kidney stones, 2 times for allergic reactions to nuts (not testicles ;P) and 2 times for cervical pre-cancer removal(conization). Those are the big ones. I have been there for little things, like false labor and stuff and now maybe this.

well enough rambling! The e-mail notification thing just bing-bonged and sho-sho is awake now, bringing me back into reality, so I will ramble some other time!

Yoddel!