We got the autopsy results yesterday. Basically all the pain killers damaged his tissue in his heart and liver. He died from cardiac arrest and serosis of the liver. He was also being treated for pneumonia, I found out, and that was what he was at the hospital for the night before. They gave him a shot of something, Demerol? I don't remember, but yeah. Isn't it just crazy that he stopped using the drugs and that was what killed him? If he would have kept using them, he might still be here?
And also I thought for some reason that his birthday was on the 15th, but it is actually today. But I know something is on the 15th. But What?
Well that is all I have to say.
oh and hubby is doing better. He is still not doing much outside of work, but he is being nicer to me and the kids. I think I just became more understanding and something just clicked with both of us. It will take some time for us to make some sense out of all of this.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Family Skate Night
Trust me, at the beginning of the day I had absolutely no intentions of going to this.
Tuesday started out as a normal Tuesday. I got up, got the kids dressed, got them to school (minus Sho-sho), and then dropped Hubby off at work. Came home and started my normal morning cleaning. Chatted with my sister (via e-mail) , read her blog, looked at photos, and then went and took a shower. Got Sho-sho ready for school and then headed over there. I decided that I wanted to give CJ a Nebs. treatment before his field trip so I pulled him out of class and did that before lunch. After lunch, Sho-sho had to walk to the K-play area on her own. She is such a big girl and she did not have a problem with that. I had to be in CJ's classroom before 12:30 so I could help get the kids ready for the field trip. I had 5 kids in my group as opposed to the 4 that was recommended. I had good kids in my group, so it was no problem at all. And basically I just had to make sure they got on the bus and off the bus and back to the school.
Once we were at the museum, they all just spread like roaches in light. The adults mostly chatted with each other. I learned yesterday that CJ's teacher graduated from the IF clinic! I am so happy for her. I am glad that this time around she did not have to endure more than one IVF cycle. I just know the kind of pain that would be.
But back to the museum. Me and CJ's teacher, you know what we will call her J! So me and J were talking and found it funny how this "expert" (person who worked at the museum) acted as if she knew all these things about tarantula's. She was holding one and telling the kids that they do have fangs but they don't bite and they are not poisonous. UHHHH? We took the kids to the Port*land Zoo before the start of school and one of the things that we did learn about was tarantulas. They all are born with fangs and venom that can kill a human in as little as 20 minutes, so we were told. But all tarantulas that are sold in the US to Zoos, museums, pet stores, etc. are defanged and they have their venom glands removed. Also, no one in their right mind would have a spider in a children's museum that had fangs! So, she would not let the kids hold the spider, but they could touch it. She did, however, let them hold walking sticks. She has absolutely no common sense to let 6 year old hold an insect and walk around with them. And wouldn't you just know it!! It was one of the kids from my group that lost the walking stick. We looked for it for a bit, but all I can say is that it is her own dang fault for letting them hold it and not watching them with it. I mean, 6 year olds lose their shoes! Do you think they will not lose a walking stick??
So anyway, once we got back to the school, I saw one of my daughter's friends and she was trying to convince me to let Sneezer go to the skate night alone with her. I was not comfortable with this b/c she only lives with her Dad and I have never met her Dad before. So I called hubby and was going to take just the older two, but then he thought the little ones would not like that, so they all came. I was not going to skate, b/c let's face it, I am not as young as I want to be anymore. But CJ and Sho-sho were having troubles so I renting skates for myself and helped them. After about an hour (and completely wiping out a couple of times) I opted to quit and sat with mom's of Sneezer's friends. I woke up this morning with a very hurt knee. I don't remember hitting it, but it sure does hurt!!! Needless to say, next time I will be having their wheels tightened and sitting that one out!! But it was fun and it was nice to chat with the other moms.
Tuesday started out as a normal Tuesday. I got up, got the kids dressed, got them to school (minus Sho-sho), and then dropped Hubby off at work. Came home and started my normal morning cleaning. Chatted with my sister (via e-mail) , read her blog, looked at photos, and then went and took a shower. Got Sho-sho ready for school and then headed over there. I decided that I wanted to give CJ a Nebs. treatment before his field trip so I pulled him out of class and did that before lunch. After lunch, Sho-sho had to walk to the K-play area on her own. She is such a big girl and she did not have a problem with that. I had to be in CJ's classroom before 12:30 so I could help get the kids ready for the field trip. I had 5 kids in my group as opposed to the 4 that was recommended. I had good kids in my group, so it was no problem at all. And basically I just had to make sure they got on the bus and off the bus and back to the school.
Once we were at the museum, they all just spread like roaches in light. The adults mostly chatted with each other. I learned yesterday that CJ's teacher graduated from the IF clinic! I am so happy for her. I am glad that this time around she did not have to endure more than one IVF cycle. I just know the kind of pain that would be.
But back to the museum. Me and CJ's teacher, you know what we will call her J! So me and J were talking and found it funny how this "expert" (person who worked at the museum) acted as if she knew all these things about tarantula's. She was holding one and telling the kids that they do have fangs but they don't bite and they are not poisonous. UHHHH? We took the kids to the Port*land Zoo before the start of school and one of the things that we did learn about was tarantulas. They all are born with fangs and venom that can kill a human in as little as 20 minutes, so we were told. But all tarantulas that are sold in the US to Zoos, museums, pet stores, etc. are defanged and they have their venom glands removed. Also, no one in their right mind would have a spider in a children's museum that had fangs! So, she would not let the kids hold the spider, but they could touch it. She did, however, let them hold walking sticks. She has absolutely no common sense to let 6 year old hold an insect and walk around with them. And wouldn't you just know it!! It was one of the kids from my group that lost the walking stick. We looked for it for a bit, but all I can say is that it is her own dang fault for letting them hold it and not watching them with it. I mean, 6 year olds lose their shoes! Do you think they will not lose a walking stick??
So anyway, once we got back to the school, I saw one of my daughter's friends and she was trying to convince me to let Sneezer go to the skate night alone with her. I was not comfortable with this b/c she only lives with her Dad and I have never met her Dad before. So I called hubby and was going to take just the older two, but then he thought the little ones would not like that, so they all came. I was not going to skate, b/c let's face it, I am not as young as I want to be anymore. But CJ and Sho-sho were having troubles so I renting skates for myself and helped them. After about an hour (and completely wiping out a couple of times) I opted to quit and sat with mom's of Sneezer's friends. I woke up this morning with a very hurt knee. I don't remember hitting it, but it sure does hurt!!! Needless to say, next time I will be having their wheels tightened and sitting that one out!! But it was fun and it was nice to chat with the other moms.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Update on things.
Last week was a busy week, as I think this one will be too, but maybe not as much. Monday I got all my housework done early and decided to go to hubby's restaurant for some lunch. Plus I forgot to give him his bank card from the day before. Tuesday I was at the school and was talked into going on a field trip with my son's class. I thought maybe that I would have the day off b/c she didn't mention anything about the field trip before and I did not sign up, but she pulled the guilt trip on me and so now I am going to Mobius Kids with CJ's class tomorrow.
Wednesday was Halloween. A very busy day! I went to school with Sho-sho but ended up helping out in CJ's class. Oh Have I mentioned that CJ's teacher is pregnant with twins through IVF? I feel like I was meant to meet her so I could experience her pregnancy with her in a way that I couldn't with my sister. I read updates on my sister through her blog and with CJ's teacher, I can see things first hand. You know? Well after school we came home and got the older kids costumes on and then headed downtown to get a bite to eat at Rocky's and then to River Pa*rk square for some indoor trick or treating. After meeting up with hubby, we headed home to empty bags and start over at North*town. Before leaving I got a phone call from my mom saying that my dad, for his birthday which is on the 1st, bought himself a 2008 Maz*da Mia*ta. Silly guy!
Thursday was a quiet day. Hubby went out that night to play poker and I stay with the kids, as usual!! (When is my night to go out?) We made the mistake of eating McBarfo's and yes I got food poisoning. I woke up about 4:30 Friday morning and was puking andhad diarrhea and felt as though someone was punching me in the gut all day. Needless to say I will NOT be eating there ever again. I was trying not to eat there anymore anyway, b/c let's face it, the food really is not that good and it is soo bad for you. Blah!
So Friday, Sho-sho stayed home with me, as I was not able to get out of bed to take her to school. And I was waiting all day for hubby to get home. Now here is where I need some help from someone. My husband called often during the day to check up on me and see how things were going. He told me early in the morning that he had alot of things to do at work and then he would be going to the store to pick up some things. I told him that was okay. When he called me in the afternoon, I had stopped vomiting, but the other thing was still going on. I should just point out here that I am not a believer in taking pep*to or any upset stomach remedies. I feel that when your body does certain things, like diarrhea, it is something that you just need to let your body do. It is fighting something and you should let it, you know? So anyway, here is the issue. My husband called to see how things were doing about 7:30 that night and I told him that I was doing better, but I was starting to get a little hungry and the water was just blah and I wanted something with a little more flavor. So I asked him to get some saltine crackers and ginger ale for me. He said that he was just leaving work to head to the store. When 9 o'clock rolled around I called wondering where he was.
No answer. (sometimes, in certain stores, the cell phone doesn't ring) So I tried again. No answer. Hmmmm? After several times of calling I called from my cell phone and then he called me back. Apparently the cell phone ring is louder than the home phone ring. So I answer my cell phone and I hear a bunch of ruckus in the background and I say " that doesn't sound like the store?" and he said that it wasn'tand that he was at a bar with some old friends that he had plans to meet up with them since the day before. But just kept telling me all day that he was going to the store. Then I asked him why he was at the bar and he said, in a drunken response, that his brother was dead. I started to cry. did it not matter that I was home sick? Was it more important for him to get drunk to remember his brother who passed 2 weeks ago? Am I being selfish? I don't think I am.
So anyway, he hangs up on me and I call back. each time only getting a few words in and then he hangs up. finally, the last time I talk to him I say , " You know I promised your dad that I would take care of you always, but if you are going to continue grieving like this, I think I am going to have to file for divorce." He hung up on me. He called back some time later and told me to never threaten him again. Anyway, The night went on with him saying hurtful things to me that he did not recall in the morning. I am so pissed at the way he has been treating me since his brother passed. I was there for him when he needed to cry and anything that he needed the first few days, but then after that he just treated me like complete shit. Not letting me help and not talking to me. And another things, he makes the money and I usually have very little and buy what I can with it, but we had no food in the house at all last week. We ate out alot and he has had other things to do rather than provide for our family. So my question and the thing I need help with is, Is this just a phase of grieving that he is going through? Should I put up with this? I am so mad and Friday was just the final straw. I was crying all Friday night and then Saturday my sadness turned to anger and I just did not even want to look at him. Then Saturday evening he tried to turn the table and act like he was the one that was mad at me. I am pissed and I don't want to take it anymore. I love my husband, I just don't like the way he is treating me and I just want an apology from him or an acknowledgement that he has done me wrong, but he won't do it. I have no more empathy for him when he is treating me like I don't matter and in fact told me that while he was drunk. He told me that I don't matter and that the only thing that mattered was his brother's being. Whatever that means.
I just don't know what to do here. Anybody?
Update: So I went down to hubby's work and we talked. I told him how I felt and how it hurt me and that was why I couldn't be empathetic towards him b/c I felt like his servant and not his spouse. He made acknowledgements on how he could have done things differently and I think I am okay with some things. I think thigs are going to be okay from now on, but we'll see?
Wednesday was Halloween. A very busy day! I went to school with Sho-sho but ended up helping out in CJ's class. Oh Have I mentioned that CJ's teacher is pregnant with twins through IVF? I feel like I was meant to meet her so I could experience her pregnancy with her in a way that I couldn't with my sister. I read updates on my sister through her blog and with CJ's teacher, I can see things first hand. You know? Well after school we came home and got the older kids costumes on and then headed downtown to get a bite to eat at Rocky's and then to River Pa*rk square for some indoor trick or treating. After meeting up with hubby, we headed home to empty bags and start over at North*town. Before leaving I got a phone call from my mom saying that my dad, for his birthday which is on the 1st, bought himself a 2008 Maz*da Mia*ta. Silly guy!
Thursday was a quiet day. Hubby went out that night to play poker and I stay with the kids, as usual!! (When is my night to go out?) We made the mistake of eating McBarfo's and yes I got food poisoning. I woke up about 4:30 Friday morning and was puking andhad diarrhea and felt as though someone was punching me in the gut all day. Needless to say I will NOT be eating there ever again. I was trying not to eat there anymore anyway, b/c let's face it, the food really is not that good and it is soo bad for you. Blah!
So Friday, Sho-sho stayed home with me, as I was not able to get out of bed to take her to school. And I was waiting all day for hubby to get home. Now here is where I need some help from someone. My husband called often during the day to check up on me and see how things were going. He told me early in the morning that he had alot of things to do at work and then he would be going to the store to pick up some things. I told him that was okay. When he called me in the afternoon, I had stopped vomiting, but the other thing was still going on. I should just point out here that I am not a believer in taking pep*to or any upset stomach remedies. I feel that when your body does certain things, like diarrhea, it is something that you just need to let your body do. It is fighting something and you should let it, you know? So anyway, here is the issue. My husband called to see how things were doing about 7:30 that night and I told him that I was doing better, but I was starting to get a little hungry and the water was just blah and I wanted something with a little more flavor. So I asked him to get some saltine crackers and ginger ale for me. He said that he was just leaving work to head to the store. When 9 o'clock rolled around I called wondering where he was.
No answer. (sometimes, in certain stores, the cell phone doesn't ring) So I tried again. No answer. Hmmmm? After several times of calling I called from my cell phone and then he called me back. Apparently the cell phone ring is louder than the home phone ring. So I answer my cell phone and I hear a bunch of ruckus in the background and I say " that doesn't sound like the store?" and he said that it wasn'tand that he was at a bar with some old friends that he had plans to meet up with them since the day before. But just kept telling me all day that he was going to the store. Then I asked him why he was at the bar and he said, in a drunken response, that his brother was dead. I started to cry. did it not matter that I was home sick? Was it more important for him to get drunk to remember his brother who passed 2 weeks ago? Am I being selfish? I don't think I am.
So anyway, he hangs up on me and I call back. each time only getting a few words in and then he hangs up. finally, the last time I talk to him I say , " You know I promised your dad that I would take care of you always, but if you are going to continue grieving like this, I think I am going to have to file for divorce." He hung up on me. He called back some time later and told me to never threaten him again. Anyway, The night went on with him saying hurtful things to me that he did not recall in the morning. I am so pissed at the way he has been treating me since his brother passed. I was there for him when he needed to cry and anything that he needed the first few days, but then after that he just treated me like complete shit. Not letting me help and not talking to me. And another things, he makes the money and I usually have very little and buy what I can with it, but we had no food in the house at all last week. We ate out alot and he has had other things to do rather than provide for our family. So my question and the thing I need help with is, Is this just a phase of grieving that he is going through? Should I put up with this? I am so mad and Friday was just the final straw. I was crying all Friday night and then Saturday my sadness turned to anger and I just did not even want to look at him. Then Saturday evening he tried to turn the table and act like he was the one that was mad at me. I am pissed and I don't want to take it anymore. I love my husband, I just don't like the way he is treating me and I just want an apology from him or an acknowledgement that he has done me wrong, but he won't do it. I have no more empathy for him when he is treating me like I don't matter and in fact told me that while he was drunk. He told me that I don't matter and that the only thing that mattered was his brother's being. Whatever that means.
I just don't know what to do here. Anybody?
Update: So I went down to hubby's work and we talked. I told him how I felt and how it hurt me and that was why I couldn't be empathetic towards him b/c I felt like his servant and not his spouse. He made acknowledgements on how he could have done things differently and I think I am okay with some things. I think thigs are going to be okay from now on, but we'll see?
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