I am very tired right now, so I will make this a quick post and I will post more later when I have more energy.
Saturday we went to the ex-in-laws christmas party. it was fun and everyone got something that they love. Then we came home and were locked out of the house, ( tell more later) , had Da climbed through and window and let us in then we had to rush to a birthday party for my neighbor's girl who is two days older than my son. that was fun, they all spoke in Russian. they know English, but speak Russian when they are all around each other b/c why change for me. you know? but I did have a few translate for me and I do know a few words and phrases to know the subject of what they are talking about. But I still felt like a fish out of water. Then Sunday we had Da's birthday party. And every one from he ex-in laws came. I think it is the best birthday party that Da has ever had knowing that his b-day is so close to x-mas. we canceled our plans of going ice skating afterwards b/c it was just too cold. But we came home to Chewy being very lethargic and not wanting to come out from under my bed. I was so afraid that we were going to lose him. I did not sleep at all last night b/c I checked on him every hour and prayed to god not to take him, not now. He is so young and it is Christmas. Please spare us the heart ache and help him get well. and apparently he heard my prayers b/c this morning he woke up with alot more energy and is more alert than he was last night with enough energy to bark and chase a neighborhood cat outside. He is still not out of the woods though. He is refusing to eat anything. I really don't know what to do. I really cannot afford to take him to the emergency vet. and our regular vet is a mobile vet and does not have an office or do house calls. Can dogs get the flu? is this just a bug that he caught? My husband was looking on the Internet and said that his symptoms point to distemper, but he has had all his shots for that. can he still get it even though he has had all his shots? Wouldn't the other animals get sick too?
If anyone knows what I can do to get him to eat, please let me know. and please pray for my puppy!
Monday, December 18, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
My worst day.
Well okay. it is more like bad week. It started on weds. We all got ready to go to CJ's first Kindergarten concert. CJ was so excited. We get to the school to find it very dark. The room where the concert was to be held was not even set up for a concert and there were no other people on the school. The gates were down to get into CJ's class, but the other K class was open. so I went snooping for the little green reminder slip and found one. CJ's concert was on the 12th!
How did I miss that? I had everything written on the calendar for what was going on this week. apparently the newsletter that came out before Thanksgiving had the wrong date on it and I wrote that down, but then they corrected it when they came back, but for some reason I just threw it aside and figured I had that all taken care off. I was crushed not to be able to hear him sing. The next morning while getting ready for school, CJ says to me " Mommy. I hate you!" I asked him why, b/c sometimes he says this over petty things and I just let it go, but this time he answered " because I wanted to sing at my concert." I responded " Well....." and had no explanation, but went into my room and quietly sobbed. How could I have messed up? I crushed his little heart. Then later Thursday morning, after the kids were off to school, our dog, Chewy started vomiting everywhere. So I spent the whole day cleaning dog vomit and making sure he keeps hydrated. Now we go to my worst day....
Called the bank this morning and found out that my direct deposit still has not been process. What are they taking an early vacation and not going to process it til after the Holidays? I need that money for Christmas shopping, C'mon people!! Then I got the kids off to school and I thought since the dog did not vomit all night that he was over whatever bug he had caught, but No! He vomited once again on my sons blanket and it smell so bad that while trying to get it in the wash, I vomited as well. Yum! What a way to start of the day. Then wind it horrible here and freaking out the little dog, Vader. But at least it is not as back as my sister in Seattle, she has no power and does not know when it will be back on. So then not being able to e-mail my sister back forth i decided to take a break from the computer this morning and watched Ellen. She is so funny. I would love to have been in her audience today. she gave away a trip to Cancun, Mexico! So anyway, after going and getting CJ in the freezing, harsh winds, ( and the bus was late) we came home and ate some lunch and had some hot cocoa. Got bored with the TV , so I started knitting a winter hat. My hand started cramping up so then I came and played some games on the computer. CJ came in and helped. Then he jumps up and goes to the restroom and then moments later i heard what sounded like rain in the basement and found that the toilet was overflowing so bad that it was leaking in the basement. AHHHHH! CJ failed to come and tell me that they toilet was over flowing . I quickly got out my Floormate and sucked up as much water as I could and then towel dried the rest. Then I went down into the basement and called my husband and told him what was going on. After a few instructions of what to do next I got off the phone with him and then at the most inopportune time, my mom calls asking if I had the car and if I could go and get my dad at a Doc.'s appt. I didn't have the car today, but even if I did I would not of been able to leave at that point in time. My oldest kids were on their way home and I had a huge mess in the basement. So my mom hangs up on me after saying that she would just re-schedule her appt. I tried calling her back, but she would not answer. WTH! So now I feel like crap. More crappy than I felt before. I ruined CJ'c concert, I have no money to buy gifts, I can't go over to my sister's for x-mas( like she wanted), and now, out of all the times my parents have helped me out, i was unable to return the favor when they really needed it. AHHHHHHHH!
Can I go climb in a hole now! I hope this next week, while the kids are home, will be better than this week. B/c this week just sucked so bad.
How did I miss that? I had everything written on the calendar for what was going on this week. apparently the newsletter that came out before Thanksgiving had the wrong date on it and I wrote that down, but then they corrected it when they came back, but for some reason I just threw it aside and figured I had that all taken care off. I was crushed not to be able to hear him sing. The next morning while getting ready for school, CJ says to me " Mommy. I hate you!" I asked him why, b/c sometimes he says this over petty things and I just let it go, but this time he answered " because I wanted to sing at my concert." I responded " Well....." and had no explanation, but went into my room and quietly sobbed. How could I have messed up? I crushed his little heart. Then later Thursday morning, after the kids were off to school, our dog, Chewy started vomiting everywhere. So I spent the whole day cleaning dog vomit and making sure he keeps hydrated. Now we go to my worst day....
Called the bank this morning and found out that my direct deposit still has not been process. What are they taking an early vacation and not going to process it til after the Holidays? I need that money for Christmas shopping, C'mon people!! Then I got the kids off to school and I thought since the dog did not vomit all night that he was over whatever bug he had caught, but No! He vomited once again on my sons blanket and it smell so bad that while trying to get it in the wash, I vomited as well. Yum! What a way to start of the day. Then wind it horrible here and freaking out the little dog, Vader. But at least it is not as back as my sister in Seattle, she has no power and does not know when it will be back on. So then not being able to e-mail my sister back forth i decided to take a break from the computer this morning and watched Ellen. She is so funny. I would love to have been in her audience today. she gave away a trip to Cancun, Mexico! So anyway, after going and getting CJ in the freezing, harsh winds, ( and the bus was late) we came home and ate some lunch and had some hot cocoa. Got bored with the TV , so I started knitting a winter hat. My hand started cramping up so then I came and played some games on the computer. CJ came in and helped. Then he jumps up and goes to the restroom and then moments later i heard what sounded like rain in the basement and found that the toilet was overflowing so bad that it was leaking in the basement. AHHHHH! CJ failed to come and tell me that they toilet was over flowing . I quickly got out my Floormate and sucked up as much water as I could and then towel dried the rest. Then I went down into the basement and called my husband and told him what was going on. After a few instructions of what to do next I got off the phone with him and then at the most inopportune time, my mom calls asking if I had the car and if I could go and get my dad at a Doc.'s appt. I didn't have the car today, but even if I did I would not of been able to leave at that point in time. My oldest kids were on their way home and I had a huge mess in the basement. So my mom hangs up on me after saying that she would just re-schedule her appt. I tried calling her back, but she would not answer. WTH! So now I feel like crap. More crappy than I felt before. I ruined CJ'c concert, I have no money to buy gifts, I can't go over to my sister's for x-mas( like she wanted), and now, out of all the times my parents have helped me out, i was unable to return the favor when they really needed it. AHHHHHHHH!
Can I go climb in a hole now! I hope this next week, while the kids are home, will be better than this week. B/c this week just sucked so bad.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
just in case....
Just on the off chance that someone else beside my mom and sister is reading this, I want to update people on the biopsy results. The doctor said that everything looked normal ( aside from the fact that there were cysts in my breast) and that the mass that they were concerned about was scar tissue. This confuses me b/c why would I have scar tissue in my breast? I have never had anything done before. hmmmm? Well I go back in June for a follow up which I was doing anyway b/c of the mass in my left breast.
Well that is all, just thought I would update things.
Well that is all, just thought I would update things.
Friday, December 8, 2006
a funny story
Yesterday as we were sitting here in the morning, while it was just me, Hubby, and Sho-sho, My hubby got up to see what sho-sho was doing in the bedroom and there was our youngest Kitty sitting in the hallway appearing to be either staring a on spot on the floor directly in front of her or sleeping with her head dropping down. So I call her "Shaak ti?" and she meows at me. She was awake and looked up at us but then quickly went back into this position. So curious as to what she was doing I watch her a bit longer. she turned her head a bit and then attack a small ray of light in front of her on the floor. we then discovered that she was attacking her own shadow. If you could have only seen it. HILARIOUS! The strangest thing by far I have ever seen a cat do.
A long day/ the biopsy.
This day started out like every other weekday except for this time I was the one taking the kids to school. I woke up and got the kids ready for school. CJ was so cute, when I got my coat on he says " I wanna go!". He must have thought that it was the weekend b/c daddy was not getting ready for work? So after getting the three older ones to school I came home and it felt weird b/c usually when I take someone to school, (Sneezer) there are 2 boys still sleeping here. But it was just me and Hubby while Sho-sho was still sleeping. It was very quiet. So I got out my knitting stuff and started making that little sweater for Vader. After a while my hands started falling asleep, so I went in a took a shower.(Found out later that my sister called while I was in the shower.) When I got out of the shower, I continued working on the doggy sweater and then the girl up the street called. She was saying that she had found some lumps in her breast and wanted to know if I would come down and feel them to see if they feel like mine. I then explained to her that I could not feel mine and what I am getting a biopsy on is something that they found with the mammogram, so I would not know what to feel for on her. She said that she has gone to her reg. doc. and he has felt them, but is deciding on what to do. I got off the phone with her and told my husband how she was asking me to come down and feel her lumps in her boobs. My husband quickly volunteered for that job! I was not comfortable with feeling someone else's boobs.
Now it was time to get CJ. So I went and picked him up and came back home and ate some lunch. And then as I am leaving, my husband says " oh yeah, your sister called while you were in the shower." I shut the door and then open it again and say " that was 2 1/2 hours ago and your telling me now?" He said he forgot. hmmmm?
The drive to the hospital I was holding back tears. I was so scared. What was going to happen? Will it hurt? Will I pass out? I get the hospital with my mind going in every direction. ( Did I lock the car? Did I park straight? Do I have my keys?) I get up to the receptionist and there is not wait, I tell the lady my name and she asks a few questions to verify things and then tells me to proceed to downstairs. I get down there, tell the other lady my name and she tells me to take a seat. I read some very interesting articles, (ha) none that I can remember but one. They have discovered that the abortion pill, that has anti-progesterone in it, can actually reduce the gene that causes breast cancer.( according to studies on lab rats.) How ironic, the pill used to kill babies can save a life from from breast cancer prevention.
So now people are being called back left and right and then I sense the eerie silence. I was the only one in this waiting room. Not even the receptionist was there. WTH? its like " why was I picked last?" but then someone comes down the stairs and I am not alone again. Then the lady comes out (Maureen) and calls my name. (Finally?) She leads me back to the room that I was in, just 10 days before, with the previous ultrasound. Maureen goes over the procedure, they are going to have the sonogram to look in to where they are going and then the doctor is going to put an guider needle in for the needle that they are going to use to extract the masses. Then she explains to me that they had found 3 liquid masses surrounding a solid mass. ( What? that is not what they told me last time?) So I suddenly feel woozy. Before I was thinking this was nothing b/c no one told me about the solid mass, but now it is something different and I am worrying more. Then she goes on to tell me that the needle extracting the masses will make a loud clicking noise, like a cap gun going off. ( Oh that is comforting)And that because the "cysts" are so small they have to leave a little chip in its place for marker, for future reference. So then she asks me to undress, waist up and put the gown on, opening in front. (okey dokey) So I undress and sit up on the table and wait. She comes back in a few minutes later and starts taking pictures of my boob with the sonogram, I asked her if they had changed any and she says " not really." In a "kind of, but I am not at liberty to tell you that" sort of way. I could tell that they had gotten bigger, not by much, but now there was a visible white area in the middle. I did not see that last time. Then she gets up to go and show the pictures to the doctor to see if those were good. And then she comes back in with the doctor and he asks if Maureen has gone over the procedure with me. and I say "yes." And he says " and your still here?" and right before he said that I was desperately wanting to get up and run out of the room saying I changed my mind. I don't want the freaking needle gun in my boob. But then he cleans off the area and pokes me with a little needle and then suddenly I can see the needle on the sonogram, but I could not feel a darn thing. That is the weirdest feeling not being able to feel your boob. So then he puts the Guider needle in place (no biggie) and then he puts the extractor needle in and *snap* the first mass is sucked out. Maureen asks me how I am doing and then re-adjusts the sonogram. Then he insert the extractor needle again and *snap* the second mass is taken out. Maureen again asks how I am doing and I tell her that it is starting to burn a little. The Doc. tells me that he just needs to do one more and Maureen agrees that one more should do it. So then again, needle in,*snap*, third mass out. Maureen adjusts the sonogram and sees that all he masses are out. So now the Doc. removes the needles, but the burning feeling is still there, why? B/c Maureen was pushing down with the sonogram wand thingy. Now they just needed to insert this small titanium chip to mark where they took the masses out. Then they were done. Maureen cleaned off the area and then put on a bandage thingy and sent me down to get a mammogram. Then I came back to the sonogram room and put my bra on and she fitted a ice pack onto my boob and I put my shirt on and then I was outta there. Before I left, she gave me an angel pin, saying that everyone who has a biopsy gets one. So now I have a scar, a chip, and an angel pin to remind me of this day!
Got home and just wanted to sleep. So I laid down for a bit and then came in to check my e-mail. Wrote my sister and others to tell them all went well and I will know something by Monday afternoon. (probably the only time I am looking forward to Monday.)
Shortly after that, Sneezer and Da got home from school. They went in to my room and did their home work and Hubby took Sho-sho and CJ to the store so we could have quiet. I Helped Da with his homework and for the first time in a long time I had my two older kids sitting on my lap. weird?
Then hubby came back home with McBarfo's and then me, Da, and Sneezer went to Sneezer's chorale concert. I wanted to sleep so bad, but I stayed awake for it and then came home and went to sleep. I think I am going to lay down now. Sleeping with bra on is something I will not recommend. I am suppose to wear a bra to bed for the next 2-3 nights. JOY! maybe I will try that sports bra tonight, If I can still fit into it?
Now it was time to get CJ. So I went and picked him up and came back home and ate some lunch. And then as I am leaving, my husband says " oh yeah, your sister called while you were in the shower." I shut the door and then open it again and say " that was 2 1/2 hours ago and your telling me now?" He said he forgot. hmmmm?
The drive to the hospital I was holding back tears. I was so scared. What was going to happen? Will it hurt? Will I pass out? I get the hospital with my mind going in every direction. ( Did I lock the car? Did I park straight? Do I have my keys?) I get up to the receptionist and there is not wait, I tell the lady my name and she asks a few questions to verify things and then tells me to proceed to downstairs. I get down there, tell the other lady my name and she tells me to take a seat. I read some very interesting articles, (ha) none that I can remember but one. They have discovered that the abortion pill, that has anti-progesterone in it, can actually reduce the gene that causes breast cancer.( according to studies on lab rats.) How ironic, the pill used to kill babies can save a life from from breast cancer prevention.
So now people are being called back left and right and then I sense the eerie silence. I was the only one in this waiting room. Not even the receptionist was there. WTH? its like " why was I picked last?" but then someone comes down the stairs and I am not alone again. Then the lady comes out (Maureen) and calls my name. (Finally?) She leads me back to the room that I was in, just 10 days before, with the previous ultrasound. Maureen goes over the procedure, they are going to have the sonogram to look in to where they are going and then the doctor is going to put an guider needle in for the needle that they are going to use to extract the masses. Then she explains to me that they had found 3 liquid masses surrounding a solid mass. ( What? that is not what they told me last time?) So I suddenly feel woozy. Before I was thinking this was nothing b/c no one told me about the solid mass, but now it is something different and I am worrying more. Then she goes on to tell me that the needle extracting the masses will make a loud clicking noise, like a cap gun going off. ( Oh that is comforting)And that because the "cysts" are so small they have to leave a little chip in its place for marker, for future reference. So then she asks me to undress, waist up and put the gown on, opening in front. (okey dokey) So I undress and sit up on the table and wait. She comes back in a few minutes later and starts taking pictures of my boob with the sonogram, I asked her if they had changed any and she says " not really." In a "kind of, but I am not at liberty to tell you that" sort of way. I could tell that they had gotten bigger, not by much, but now there was a visible white area in the middle. I did not see that last time. Then she gets up to go and show the pictures to the doctor to see if those were good. And then she comes back in with the doctor and he asks if Maureen has gone over the procedure with me. and I say "yes." And he says " and your still here?" and right before he said that I was desperately wanting to get up and run out of the room saying I changed my mind. I don't want the freaking needle gun in my boob. But then he cleans off the area and pokes me with a little needle and then suddenly I can see the needle on the sonogram, but I could not feel a darn thing. That is the weirdest feeling not being able to feel your boob. So then he puts the Guider needle in place (no biggie) and then he puts the extractor needle in and *snap* the first mass is sucked out. Maureen asks me how I am doing and then re-adjusts the sonogram. Then he insert the extractor needle again and *snap* the second mass is taken out. Maureen again asks how I am doing and I tell her that it is starting to burn a little. The Doc. tells me that he just needs to do one more and Maureen agrees that one more should do it. So then again, needle in,*snap*, third mass out. Maureen adjusts the sonogram and sees that all he masses are out. So now the Doc. removes the needles, but the burning feeling is still there, why? B/c Maureen was pushing down with the sonogram wand thingy. Now they just needed to insert this small titanium chip to mark where they took the masses out. Then they were done. Maureen cleaned off the area and then put on a bandage thingy and sent me down to get a mammogram. Then I came back to the sonogram room and put my bra on and she fitted a ice pack onto my boob and I put my shirt on and then I was outta there. Before I left, she gave me an angel pin, saying that everyone who has a biopsy gets one. So now I have a scar, a chip, and an angel pin to remind me of this day!
Got home and just wanted to sleep. So I laid down for a bit and then came in to check my e-mail. Wrote my sister and others to tell them all went well and I will know something by Monday afternoon. (probably the only time I am looking forward to Monday.)
Shortly after that, Sneezer and Da got home from school. They went in to my room and did their home work and Hubby took Sho-sho and CJ to the store so we could have quiet. I Helped Da with his homework and for the first time in a long time I had my two older kids sitting on my lap. weird?
Then hubby came back home with McBarfo's and then me, Da, and Sneezer went to Sneezer's chorale concert. I wanted to sleep so bad, but I stayed awake for it and then came home and went to sleep. I think I am going to lay down now. Sleeping with bra on is something I will not recommend. I am suppose to wear a bra to bed for the next 2-3 nights. JOY! maybe I will try that sports bra tonight, If I can still fit into it?
Saturday, December 2, 2006
A Christmas song that I like
Aly & Aj- Not this year.
this christmas card is contrived
a mannequin looks more alive
haven't meant a word i've written here
the page is full not one thing sincere
i can't, i can't
i can't, i can't take it
this is the time to smile,
i can't fake it
please allow me the chance now
to break it down
it's not snow, it's rain coming down
and the lights are cool,but they burn out
and i can't pull off the cheer
not this year
not this year
not this year
when i look into the mirror
no happiness is present here
not supposed to whine,
not supposed to cry
try to hold it in,
but not this time
don't know, don't know
if you can hear me
i will, i will
speak louder for you
no more whispering
are you listening
i am pleading
i am pleading
i can't, i can't
i can't, i can't take it
this is the time to smile,
i can't fake it
please allow me the chance now
to break it down
it's not snow, it's rain coming down
and the lights are cool,
but they burn out
and i can't pull off the cheer
not this year
not this year
not this year
this christmas card is contrived
a mannequin looks more alive
haven't meant a word i've written here
the page is full not one thing sincere
i can't, i can't
i can't, i can't take it
this is the time to smile,
i can't fake it
please allow me the chance now
to break it down
it's not snow, it's rain coming down
and the lights are cool,but they burn out
and i can't pull off the cheer
not this year
not this year
not this year
when i look into the mirror
no happiness is present here
not supposed to whine,
not supposed to cry
try to hold it in,
but not this time
don't know, don't know
if you can hear me
i will, i will
speak louder for you
no more whispering
are you listening
i am pleading
i am pleading
i can't, i can't
i can't, i can't take it
this is the time to smile,
i can't fake it
please allow me the chance now
to break it down
it's not snow, it's rain coming down
and the lights are cool,
but they burn out
and i can't pull off the cheer
not this year
not this year
not this year
Friday, December 1, 2006
Early Friday morning
Here I am at the end of another week. It is 8:38 am and the house is quiet. Sneezer went to school at 7:30 for her chorale, the boys left a little bit ago with dad, and Sho-sho is still sleeping.
It is quiet and I am sitting here just thinking about things. I'm scared. And not just about the biopsy and my breast, but about many things. My sister is pregnant with twins. She has gone through so much to get where she is and I hope and pray that everything goes well with those babies and her.
I woke up about 4 this morning b/c of a pain in my left hip. I thought maybe I was just sleeping wrong so I switched sides. But then when I woke up this morning, it hurt soo bad to walk on that leg. About a month or so ago, I started getting this weird feeling in my foot. occasionally when I moved my foot a certain way, I would get this tingling feeling. It never went away, but it was not enough to bug me or get in the way off my usual routine. So I forgot about it. Monday I started having dizzy spells. I thought maybe it was just butterflies b/c I had never had a mammogram done before. But Tues. I was still having them and then by Weds. I was dizzy all day, especially when I move my head certain ways or turned to fast or got up to fast. I feel like my body is falling apart on me and there is nothing I can do about it. I have been having a lot of acid reflex also. I don't feel like I have heartburn, but then suddenly out of no where I vomit a little in my mouth, mostly after bending over. My mom thinks the dizziness is from a cold. But I don't really have much of a cold. but maybe I have a head cold or something. I have found myself forgetting things. For example, Tues. night, my mom called and asked if the Dr.'s office had called yet, I didn't have a clue what she was talking about, and then she said " to set up your appt. for the biopsy". Aha? You would think I would remember something like that, huh? It is like when I go to sleep, the whole day erases and then when I wake up, it takes awhile for me to remember what just happened the day before. Is that just me? Do other people do that? I have gone to sleep angry with my husband and then wake up the next day like nothing happened. and then he is off to work and then hours later I remember, " shit I was still pissed with him!". Many arguments have ended this way. Does anyone else do that? For as long as I can remember I have been like that. Another thing was that I could not recall what the Dr said on Monday. was I suppose to wait there and then they were going to do the biopsy that day? I was freaking b/c no one ever called me from my Gyn. office. Maybe I was suppose to wait there? maybe that was why he said it could all be done by phone? I don't know? But I called yesterday, and after many, many phone calls,( b/c the gal scheduling it, was totally out of it) I finally got my appt. set for the 7th at 12:45. I am not too nervous about the fact that they are going to stick a needle in my boob, but mostly for the out come. I read that even if it is not cancerous, they might still want to remove the cysts. which means either way, I l might have surgery and a scar.
My husband said to me once that he doesn't know anyone else that has been in the hospital as many times as I have. I cannot count on two hands home many times I have been in the hospital. 4+ times for kids, 2+ times for kidney stones, 2 times for allergic reactions to nuts (not testicles ;P) and 2 times for cervical pre-cancer removal(conization). Those are the big ones. I have been there for little things, like false labor and stuff and now maybe this.
well enough rambling! The e-mail notification thing just bing-bonged and sho-sho is awake now, bringing me back into reality, so I will ramble some other time!
Yoddel!
It is quiet and I am sitting here just thinking about things. I'm scared. And not just about the biopsy and my breast, but about many things. My sister is pregnant with twins. She has gone through so much to get where she is and I hope and pray that everything goes well with those babies and her.
I woke up about 4 this morning b/c of a pain in my left hip. I thought maybe I was just sleeping wrong so I switched sides. But then when I woke up this morning, it hurt soo bad to walk on that leg. About a month or so ago, I started getting this weird feeling in my foot. occasionally when I moved my foot a certain way, I would get this tingling feeling. It never went away, but it was not enough to bug me or get in the way off my usual routine. So I forgot about it. Monday I started having dizzy spells. I thought maybe it was just butterflies b/c I had never had a mammogram done before. But Tues. I was still having them and then by Weds. I was dizzy all day, especially when I move my head certain ways or turned to fast or got up to fast. I feel like my body is falling apart on me and there is nothing I can do about it. I have been having a lot of acid reflex also. I don't feel like I have heartburn, but then suddenly out of no where I vomit a little in my mouth, mostly after bending over. My mom thinks the dizziness is from a cold. But I don't really have much of a cold. but maybe I have a head cold or something. I have found myself forgetting things. For example, Tues. night, my mom called and asked if the Dr.'s office had called yet, I didn't have a clue what she was talking about, and then she said " to set up your appt. for the biopsy". Aha? You would think I would remember something like that, huh? It is like when I go to sleep, the whole day erases and then when I wake up, it takes awhile for me to remember what just happened the day before. Is that just me? Do other people do that? I have gone to sleep angry with my husband and then wake up the next day like nothing happened. and then he is off to work and then hours later I remember, " shit I was still pissed with him!". Many arguments have ended this way. Does anyone else do that? For as long as I can remember I have been like that. Another thing was that I could not recall what the Dr said on Monday. was I suppose to wait there and then they were going to do the biopsy that day? I was freaking b/c no one ever called me from my Gyn. office. Maybe I was suppose to wait there? maybe that was why he said it could all be done by phone? I don't know? But I called yesterday, and after many, many phone calls,( b/c the gal scheduling it, was totally out of it) I finally got my appt. set for the 7th at 12:45. I am not too nervous about the fact that they are going to stick a needle in my boob, but mostly for the out come. I read that even if it is not cancerous, they might still want to remove the cysts. which means either way, I l might have surgery and a scar.
My husband said to me once that he doesn't know anyone else that has been in the hospital as many times as I have. I cannot count on two hands home many times I have been in the hospital. 4+ times for kids, 2+ times for kidney stones, 2 times for allergic reactions to nuts (not testicles ;P) and 2 times for cervical pre-cancer removal(conization). Those are the big ones. I have been there for little things, like false labor and stuff and now maybe this.
well enough rambling! The e-mail notification thing just bing-bonged and sho-sho is awake now, bringing me back into reality, so I will ramble some other time!
Yoddel!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
The snow and other ramblings
It snowed again here last night about 4 inches. We have just had such a horrible week, weather wise. Yesterday it was only 2 degrees when we woke up. I did not want to venture out into that cold so I had CJ stay home so I wouldn't have to walk to his bus stop in the afternoon. It was just too cold. Plus I am having issues with the school and the bus. The school for one, CJ had RSV when he was a baby and continues to have respiratory problems now. I know I put all this information in his file for the school when I registered him, but yet they had him wait outside in the cold on Tuesday when it was only in the teens. The school has a policy that if you do not have permission from anything ( teacher, breakfast, etc.) to be in the school then you have to wait outside. WTH? Why do they have them wait outside for that long? My kids get to school at 8:30 everyday but Thursdays ( Thurs. are late start so they have to ride the bus, I hate Thurs.) and they eat breakfast and then when they are done they have to go outside. OUTSIDE! In this weather! I would understand that if it were 70 degrees outside and they can play and be warm, but outside when the temps. are in the teens? WTH? So my husband said that he would talk to the school about letting our kids come in some where. I am mostly concerned about CJ's health issues. If he catches a cold, it will quickly turn into pneumonia. We have gone so long not needing the nebs. I really don't want to have to start them again b/c of the schools carelessness. You know?
The problem with the bus is that on Monday when I was at my mammogram appt., my mom had to come and get CJ from the bus stop, but she did not know where the bus dropped him off at, so she stayed in her car until the bus came. She was on the opposite side of the street and CJ did not see her and apparently the bus driver did not either, but still let him off the bus and he started walking towards home until my mom finally got his attention. But the issue I have with this is that he let my son off the bus when there was no one (seen) there to get him. I call the transit center for the school buses and was told that they have a drop and go policy. WTH! A drop and go policy. So they are going to risk having my ( or any) 5 year old taken, kidnapped, just so they can stay on schedule? What happened to caring for and protecting our children? Why would they just kick them off the bus like that, just so they can stay on schedule?
My other issue with the bus, actually the driver more to a point on this one, is that my oldest daughter, Sneezer, who is very trustworthy and reports 'bad' activities to me, if you would. She told me that the bus driver has been using profanity while talking to the children on the bus. We already have two 'trouble makers' on the bus, at our bus stop that we are trying to get them to not use such language and now we have the bus driving, who is suppose to be a role model, using this language towards K-6th graders. So they are going to put a recorder on the bus to see how exactly this bus driver has been interacting with the children.
So it snowed over night. I have mention before that our snow shovel and other things are trapped in our garage. (My husband put a wood pile in front on the garage door blocking the access.) But this morning I was determined to get that shovel and not have to buy a new one. I was not going to have ice on my stairs again from the snow melting and freezing again. So I climbed the wood pile, got into the garage, and got the snow shovel. And what does Sneezer say to me after I came back in the house? " Why didn't you get the sled?" Nice huh? she is thinking of fun while I am having snow fall down into my pants.(butt crack) So I think at some point today I will climb in there again and get the sled. It will save the two little ones from having to freeze their little feet walking to and back from the bus stop. I really need to go and get them some new snow boots!!
Well that is that. I am finally defrosted from the walk to the bus stop and back. Now I suppose I should go do some cleaning? Joy!
The problem with the bus is that on Monday when I was at my mammogram appt., my mom had to come and get CJ from the bus stop, but she did not know where the bus dropped him off at, so she stayed in her car until the bus came. She was on the opposite side of the street and CJ did not see her and apparently the bus driver did not either, but still let him off the bus and he started walking towards home until my mom finally got his attention. But the issue I have with this is that he let my son off the bus when there was no one (seen) there to get him. I call the transit center for the school buses and was told that they have a drop and go policy. WTH! A drop and go policy. So they are going to risk having my ( or any) 5 year old taken, kidnapped, just so they can stay on schedule? What happened to caring for and protecting our children? Why would they just kick them off the bus like that, just so they can stay on schedule?
My other issue with the bus, actually the driver more to a point on this one, is that my oldest daughter, Sneezer, who is very trustworthy and reports 'bad' activities to me, if you would. She told me that the bus driver has been using profanity while talking to the children on the bus. We already have two 'trouble makers' on the bus, at our bus stop that we are trying to get them to not use such language and now we have the bus driving, who is suppose to be a role model, using this language towards K-6th graders. So they are going to put a recorder on the bus to see how exactly this bus driver has been interacting with the children.
So it snowed over night. I have mention before that our snow shovel and other things are trapped in our garage. (My husband put a wood pile in front on the garage door blocking the access.) But this morning I was determined to get that shovel and not have to buy a new one. I was not going to have ice on my stairs again from the snow melting and freezing again. So I climbed the wood pile, got into the garage, and got the snow shovel. And what does Sneezer say to me after I came back in the house? " Why didn't you get the sled?" Nice huh? she is thinking of fun while I am having snow fall down into my pants.(butt crack) So I think at some point today I will climb in there again and get the sled. It will save the two little ones from having to freeze their little feet walking to and back from the bus stop. I really need to go and get them some new snow boots!!
Well that is that. I am finally defrosted from the walk to the bus stop and back. Now I suppose I should go do some cleaning? Joy!
Monday, November 27, 2006
The family picture
So CJ was asked to do this booklet to tell the class about himself and one of the things in the booklet was to draw a picture of your family and he did not want to draw it. So since this was to be a 'family' project, I decided to draw the picture and this is what it looks like!!
That is me, Hubby, Sneezer, CJ, Da, and Sho-sho, with the animals, Chewy(the big dog) Vader ( the weiner dog) and the two kitties, Shaak ti and Lucas. In case you didn't guess, we are a very Star wars family. I am lucky that I got away with normal name for my kids.
well anyway, thought I would share my family portrait!!
That is me, Hubby, Sneezer, CJ, Da, and Sho-sho, with the animals, Chewy(the big dog) Vader ( the weiner dog) and the two kitties, Shaak ti and Lucas. In case you didn't guess, we are a very Star wars family. I am lucky that I got away with normal name for my kids.
well anyway, thought I would share my family portrait!!
Boob squisher!!
Okay this was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. The machine did not squish my boob to much, but it was still awkward having someone handling my breast like that. I had to wait about 20 minutes past my appt. time, but was the first one to be seen when they brought me back. They took two pictures of my left breast and then four 'normal' routine pictures, two on each side. Then I was sent back out to my little waiting "closet". Waiting and waiting. About 10 minutes later, the mammogram tech. lady came and said that the doctor wanted more pictures of my right breast, 'to have something to compare it to'. (uh-huh?) So a couple more squishes and then back to my closet. Then she came back a few minutes later and said that the Radiologist definitely wanted to do an ultrasound. ( okay freaking a bit). So I waited about 30 more minutes and then the lady doing the u/s came back and got me, and was at first, I guess, expecting someone older, b/c she double checked the chart and asked if I was Trina. So she brought me back to this room and had me lay on this table/bed like thing and did my right breast first. I saw some black spots and tried to remember ( white good, black bad or black good, white bad? Fuck!) But then she told me that there was a cluster of cysts right there. (okay?) She took like forever on my right breast and then like only did the ultrasound in the area that I felt the lump. ( I was not to happy with that) She quickly jumped up and said " Okay let me go and show my pictures to the doctor and I will be right back". She returned shortly with the doctor and he told me that the lump that I am feeling in my left breast could be just a mass of breast tissue and that I should just watch it the next 6 months and then come back for another mammogram to see if it has changed or what not. ( I don't feel right with that either) But in my right breast, he was concerned about the cluster of cysts. He said that normally when they find a cyst, it is by itself, but these were a tight cluster and they saw them in the mammogram too. He gave me two options, to wait six months and come back for another mammogram or have a biopsy done. Considering my family history , I opted for the biopsy. I would not want to be wondering about this for the next six months, like I am going to be wondering about the "tissue mass". I don't know why he is concerned about this cluster, but I guess I will find out soon?
well that is all I know for now. My sister, in about an hour, is going to be finding out how many buns are in her oven. I am hoping for twins, but will be happy with just one. I am just happy to finally "officially" be an aunt!!! and we will know shortly.
well that is all I know for now. My sister, in about an hour, is going to be finding out how many buns are in her oven. I am hoping for twins, but will be happy with just one. I am just happy to finally "officially" be an aunt!!! and we will know shortly.
Ramblings
OMG! it is Monday. It almost time to take the kids to school and my mother is on her way here. my nerves are a wreck. I even had a little dizzy spell this morning. I woke up at 5:30 this morning, went to the restroom, let the dogs out and then found that one of the dogs, Vader, had urinated all over the boys shoes that they had left by the back door. nice! CJ's were hit most. So I quickly washed them off and tried to dry them before it was time to go. But no such luck. So I found some of Da's old shoes and put them on CJ. Da's shoes were only hit on the bottom.
To add to my stress, CJ's teacher called yesterday to tell us that he was the "star" student this week and that we needed to send some pictures of him for it. CRAP! Everything is either in the garage, which is inconveniently blocked by a pile of wood or is on the computer and not it a form that can be sent to the school. Why couldn't she of told us this on weds. So we could of had more time to find these things.
So my mind has been racing at a thousand miles a minute. About stupid things. I have prepared myself for whatever news I get today. I wonder if they will even tell me anything or if they will just pass the info. on to my doctor and then I have to wait until he decides to call me to set up an appt. UGH!! I want to hurry up and get the kids to school and get this done. and how wonderful is it that we had a huge snow storm yesterday.
well time to go. talk to you later!!
To add to my stress, CJ's teacher called yesterday to tell us that he was the "star" student this week and that we needed to send some pictures of him for it. CRAP! Everything is either in the garage, which is inconveniently blocked by a pile of wood or is on the computer and not it a form that can be sent to the school. Why couldn't she of told us this on weds. So we could of had more time to find these things.
So my mind has been racing at a thousand miles a minute. About stupid things. I have prepared myself for whatever news I get today. I wonder if they will even tell me anything or if they will just pass the info. on to my doctor and then I have to wait until he decides to call me to set up an appt. UGH!! I want to hurry up and get the kids to school and get this done. and how wonderful is it that we had a huge snow storm yesterday.
well time to go. talk to you later!!
Friday, November 24, 2006
Thankgiving 2006
This year we decided to have Thanksgiving dinner at home. It was originally going to be just us and the kids, but then I found out that Mom was going to be home alone b/c Dad and Ryan were to be at work and Chad was to be at his girlfriends house but then we made it so Dad and Ryan could eat here and then Chad decided to come over, I guess just to watch us eat? So it was the my whole family ( minus sister) all squished into my little house. So my hubby started the turkey in the oven around 10 am. I was under the impression that I was to make everything and he was just going to fry the other turkey. But he beat me to everything and the only thing I made was the homemade mashed potatoes and the pumpkin cake. All from scratch!! yes I am very proud of myself and I did ask if people liked it. A little reassurance! So Chad got here first, just a few minutes before mom, dad, and Ryan. I was a little disappointed that they did not bring the Wii over. ;P
So seeing how I got off easy on the whole cooking dinner thing, I was not exhausted until about 9pm. Hubby, on the other hand, was asleep by 6 pm. I drained the fryer, washed the dishes, cut up the "extra" turkey, (yes we had a whole turkey left after everyone left), and then I sat down and watched "Good Wilt hunting" with the kids on Cartoon Network. After that we were watching "chitty chitty bang bang". I did not get through much of that before I was out like a light.
It was a nice dinner. I wish our home was finished and we would of had more room. Mom wants us to cook dinner again next year, but at her house this time. more room. Hopefully My sister will be over next year with her husband and bab(ies)! Then perhaps we will need to cook those two turkeys?
So CJ is here watching me write this and he wants to add something so here we go something from CJ....
zoo?
okay I guess that is all he wanted to say?
oh and this >?< is not a question mark but a 'mystery' according to CJ. Must be a school thing?
well that is all for today. will be back on Monday to inform all about the mammogram.
Yoddel!
So seeing how I got off easy on the whole cooking dinner thing, I was not exhausted until about 9pm. Hubby, on the other hand, was asleep by 6 pm. I drained the fryer, washed the dishes, cut up the "extra" turkey, (yes we had a whole turkey left after everyone left), and then I sat down and watched "Good Wilt hunting" with the kids on Cartoon Network. After that we were watching "chitty chitty bang bang". I did not get through much of that before I was out like a light.
It was a nice dinner. I wish our home was finished and we would of had more room. Mom wants us to cook dinner again next year, but at her house this time. more room. Hopefully My sister will be over next year with her husband and bab(ies)! Then perhaps we will need to cook those two turkeys?
So CJ is here watching me write this and he wants to add something so here we go something from CJ....
zoo?
okay I guess that is all he wanted to say?
oh and this >?< is not a question mark but a 'mystery' according to CJ. Must be a school thing?
well that is all for today. will be back on Monday to inform all about the mammogram.
Yoddel!
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
A questions for all!
Why do birds sit on electrical and telephone wires?
It is freezing outside and I would expect the birds to flock where it is warmer, but this morning(and also yesterday) we have found this huge flock of sparrows sitting on the wires. does anyone know why they do that?
It is freezing outside and I would expect the birds to flock where it is warmer, but this morning(and also yesterday) we have found this huge flock of sparrows sitting on the wires. does anyone know why they do that?
Preparing for Turkey day!
I am definitely done shopping for this day. I tell you, this is the last time I volunteer to do the TG-day cooking!! It is crazy out there! This was my day.
First I got up at 6:45 this morning b/c Sneezer was excited to get to her chorale practice that was at 7:30. So I got out of bed at 7 and then took her to practice. Came home and got CJ and Da ready for school and then at 8 decided that I didn't want to take the bus downtown to get the car to do the shopping, so I woke Sho-sho up to take the boys to school and Daddy to work. Then it was off to go shopping! I had my list. My plan was to just go to one store and then be back home an hour later to shower and then to go and get CJ from school. That did not happen. Half way home I realized that I needed a turkey marinate, ( per orders of hubby), so I turned the car around and headed for another store that I would assume would have a turkey marinate. No such luck so I just got some olive oil and figure we would used salt and pepper for seasoning. So I called hubby and told him that I could not find a marinate and that I got Olive oil instead. Then he added an additional list on me!! Fun! More shopping! So we went a picked up CJ and then we were off to yet another store. Hubby wanted Elephant garlic, which is only sold at a store up north. So off we went. We got the first things on our list and then it was over to the cookware to get an aluminum roasting pan. And just my luck, the freaking lady in front of me took the last one!!! So off to another store to get another one. So I am at my car putting my groceries and kids in when I notice this white car waiting for me. Now I don't mind when people wait for my spot when I am already in the car, but when I am still putting my groceries in and getting kids seat belts on, I hate that. I hate feeling rushed. Normally on any other day I would sit in my car until the a**hole would get tired of waiting and left. But today I had things I needed to get done, and I just really wanted to get home. So I back my car out as close to his as possible and then showed him my lovely birdie!!! Not to mention that I was actually yelling at him while putting the cart away. I was saying out loud " don't even wait for me" ( My kids were already in the car) I hate that. But so I didn't sound even more senile, I decided to get in my car. I am not a good shopper on these busy days, especially when I can't find what I need.
So at the last store I found the pans I needed for twice as much and just got them and now I am home.
THANK GOODNESS THE SHOPPING DAY IS OVER!! and now for a shower!!! and to sit down with the kids and watch Ice age: the meltdown.
First I got up at 6:45 this morning b/c Sneezer was excited to get to her chorale practice that was at 7:30. So I got out of bed at 7 and then took her to practice. Came home and got CJ and Da ready for school and then at 8 decided that I didn't want to take the bus downtown to get the car to do the shopping, so I woke Sho-sho up to take the boys to school and Daddy to work. Then it was off to go shopping! I had my list. My plan was to just go to one store and then be back home an hour later to shower and then to go and get CJ from school. That did not happen. Half way home I realized that I needed a turkey marinate, ( per orders of hubby), so I turned the car around and headed for another store that I would assume would have a turkey marinate. No such luck so I just got some olive oil and figure we would used salt and pepper for seasoning. So I called hubby and told him that I could not find a marinate and that I got Olive oil instead. Then he added an additional list on me!! Fun! More shopping! So we went a picked up CJ and then we were off to yet another store. Hubby wanted Elephant garlic, which is only sold at a store up north. So off we went. We got the first things on our list and then it was over to the cookware to get an aluminum roasting pan. And just my luck, the freaking lady in front of me took the last one!!! So off to another store to get another one. So I am at my car putting my groceries and kids in when I notice this white car waiting for me. Now I don't mind when people wait for my spot when I am already in the car, but when I am still putting my groceries in and getting kids seat belts on, I hate that. I hate feeling rushed. Normally on any other day I would sit in my car until the a**hole would get tired of waiting and left. But today I had things I needed to get done, and I just really wanted to get home. So I back my car out as close to his as possible and then showed him my lovely birdie!!! Not to mention that I was actually yelling at him while putting the cart away. I was saying out loud " don't even wait for me" ( My kids were already in the car) I hate that. But so I didn't sound even more senile, I decided to get in my car. I am not a good shopper on these busy days, especially when I can't find what I need.
So at the last store I found the pans I needed for twice as much and just got them and now I am home.
THANK GOODNESS THE SHOPPING DAY IS OVER!! and now for a shower!!! and to sit down with the kids and watch Ice age: the meltdown.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
My thoughts today.
Me and my husband were in our bedroom this morning. I was looking for matching socks for this kids from the sock box. He came up to me and tried to grab my boob. I flinched back and told him that that was the boob with the lump in it and that my boobs hurt. He implied that I was just trying to use my lump as an excuse. Sorry if I am a bit subconscious about my breast right now. I mean I don't want him to like squish 'it' and make 'it' pop or something. I know that most likely will not happen, but these are the things I think of. well this escalated into an argument and he told me to 'get over myself'. I told him that I am sick of him grabbing my boobs and that since he does it, the kids think it is okay to poke my boobs. he told me, (his exact words) " you gave up your rights to your breasts after you had 4 kids" WTF!!! I told him have you heard of 'personal space' . this is my fu**ing body. If I don't want someone touching me, that is my prerogative. Then this fight turned into cleaning the house and that we are going to have guest over on Thurs. Yeah I know that the house needs to be clean, but I am not going to make it fu**ing sparkle. For god sakes, it is just my parents coming over. Unlike his parents, (mostly his dad), my parents understand that we have four kids and it is a head ache trying to keep up on cleaning every freaking corner when the tornado of kids is right behind you destroying everything you just did. I guess he must think that I enjoy cleaning. then I pointed out the mess that he left on the coffee table and he cleaned it up. It is just amazing how the little freaking things help!!! Now if only I can break that habit from the kids.
well that is all for my ranting, for now anyway.
well that is all for my ranting, for now anyway.
Da's Conference.
We showed up at the school early. His teachers were still in a conference with the parents before us. So we killed some time and looked around at the pictures on the wall from Da's classroom. It sounds mean, but was very comforting that there were kids farther behind than Da. In the pictures, the kids were to write a simile. Da's Simile was that 'it was as hot as a volcano' and then he drew a picture of two people and a volcano. Some of the other kids similes were very hard to read and understand. One of the kids spelled school like "skoll". But it was comforting knowing that there are kids in his class at the same level as him and lower.
After a few moments, one of the Teachers that Da has to help with reading and writing came upstairs and waited outside with us. Sneezer brought her Micro with her and was trying to explain to this teacher how to play the Pokemon game. It was quite funny. She didn't even know what the 'A' and 'B' buttons were for. Then the parents before us came out of the room and we went in.
The reading and writing teacher went first. Well, she does more than that, but I just don't like calling her the 'special ed.' teacher. Even though that is what she is, I prefer not to call her that. Anyway, she was telling us how Da was doing well in reading, that he still is not at the level that he should be at right now, but he is really doing well. She says that he talks alot more when they are in smaller groups,( I think it is b/c he feels smarter than the others in the group, so therefore he talks more) and his classroom teachers were happy to hear that. She went on to talk about how well he was doing in math and that he definitely does not need tutoring in math. That was a good thing. She also said that he has figured out math problems in another way that the other kids did not. His classroom teacher told us about how she gave them a word problem and all the other kids were struggling and Da figured it out in a completely unique way. I wish I could have seen the problem and his work. Then we went on to talking about his choices in books. He has been checking out books that are far to advanced for him. The last book he checked out was "The great escape", which is a good book, but just to big for him. Now he is reading a book called " Nate the great", this is an easier book and a level 2. I think sometimes he feels that these books are for babies and that is why he doesn't like to read them, but I think that is we go and buy some of these books at Barnes & Noble, and we read them too, them maybe he will enjoy reading these books better. I think he wants to be like Sneezer and read chapter books like she is?
So all in all he is doing well. We still need to work on his hand writing and reading. But we will get there. Also we had asked since he is performing at a 2nd grade level and is in the 3rd grade, if we should start thinking about keeping him back a grade. His teacher said that holding kids back a grade only has a 15 % success rate. So we opted against that. We just need to work harder on these things now. I know he has it in him. He just needs to apply himself in other areas like he did with his math.
After a few moments, one of the Teachers that Da has to help with reading and writing came upstairs and waited outside with us. Sneezer brought her Micro with her and was trying to explain to this teacher how to play the Pokemon game. It was quite funny. She didn't even know what the 'A' and 'B' buttons were for. Then the parents before us came out of the room and we went in.
The reading and writing teacher went first. Well, she does more than that, but I just don't like calling her the 'special ed.' teacher. Even though that is what she is, I prefer not to call her that. Anyway, she was telling us how Da was doing well in reading, that he still is not at the level that he should be at right now, but he is really doing well. She says that he talks alot more when they are in smaller groups,( I think it is b/c he feels smarter than the others in the group, so therefore he talks more) and his classroom teachers were happy to hear that. She went on to talk about how well he was doing in math and that he definitely does not need tutoring in math. That was a good thing. She also said that he has figured out math problems in another way that the other kids did not. His classroom teacher told us about how she gave them a word problem and all the other kids were struggling and Da figured it out in a completely unique way. I wish I could have seen the problem and his work. Then we went on to talking about his choices in books. He has been checking out books that are far to advanced for him. The last book he checked out was "The great escape", which is a good book, but just to big for him. Now he is reading a book called " Nate the great", this is an easier book and a level 2. I think sometimes he feels that these books are for babies and that is why he doesn't like to read them, but I think that is we go and buy some of these books at Barnes & Noble, and we read them too, them maybe he will enjoy reading these books better. I think he wants to be like Sneezer and read chapter books like she is?
So all in all he is doing well. We still need to work on his hand writing and reading. But we will get there. Also we had asked since he is performing at a 2nd grade level and is in the 3rd grade, if we should start thinking about keeping him back a grade. His teacher said that holding kids back a grade only has a 15 % success rate. So we opted against that. We just need to work harder on these things now. I know he has it in him. He just needs to apply himself in other areas like he did with his math.
Monday, November 20, 2006
One more week!!
Well here we are on Monday again. My mammogram is in one week. You know I still check my boob every day and have even started to convince myself that the lump is gone, but it is not. It is still there, unchanged. I read somewhere that you are suppose to try and schedule your mammogram for after your period b/c it will hurt less, well this appt. is right before my AF is due. My boobs are already starting to hurt, I can't imagine having them squished.
Tonight is Da's P/T Conference. I can't wait to see how he is doing in school. We still need to work on his shyness. I know I didn't break out of my shell until after high school. I was afraid that people didn't like me. I guess I still am that way, but I just care less now.
My father-in-law came over yesterday and finally hooked up the heat in the girls room. *choir sings* but he made this comment that just really pissed me off. He said that he would only work if the game (Seahawks) was on. WTF! " well I guess maybe if you would have gotten the house done when you were suppose too, then you could be at your own home watching the game. But what I said out loud was " Please, or maybe if we started paying you" and I think he heard it, well, My husband did anyway and quietly told me to "shut up." Sorry but it has been 6 months since he started and I don't understand why he built the decks before he built our basement? messed up man? and now he has issues with being at our house only if my husband is here. hmmm? don't have any idea why? I guess he can just sense how angry I am that it has taken him this long for him to just hook up the heat and it only took him 2 hours or so. What was the big deal? and the way he hooked it up, hell I could have done that!! I thought he was going to hide the ducts in the ceiling? but no, he has it wrapped under the ceiling and going through was it soon to be a wall. And he calls himself a professional!! ha!
Well that is all for now. I will write more about Da's conference tomorrow. later!
Yoddel!
Tonight is Da's P/T Conference. I can't wait to see how he is doing in school. We still need to work on his shyness. I know I didn't break out of my shell until after high school. I was afraid that people didn't like me. I guess I still am that way, but I just care less now.
My father-in-law came over yesterday and finally hooked up the heat in the girls room. *choir sings* but he made this comment that just really pissed me off. He said that he would only work if the game (Seahawks) was on. WTF! " well I guess maybe if you would have gotten the house done when you were suppose too, then you could be at your own home watching the game. But what I said out loud was " Please, or maybe if we started paying you" and I think he heard it, well, My husband did anyway and quietly told me to "shut up." Sorry but it has been 6 months since he started and I don't understand why he built the decks before he built our basement? messed up man? and now he has issues with being at our house only if my husband is here. hmmm? don't have any idea why? I guess he can just sense how angry I am that it has taken him this long for him to just hook up the heat and it only took him 2 hours or so. What was the big deal? and the way he hooked it up, hell I could have done that!! I thought he was going to hide the ducts in the ceiling? but no, he has it wrapped under the ceiling and going through was it soon to be a wall. And he calls himself a professional!! ha!
Well that is all for now. I will write more about Da's conference tomorrow. later!
Yoddel!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Parent/Teacher conferences
Yesterday we had P/T conferences for CJ and Sneezer. Sneezer's was first. She is doing great academically and should make the honor roll, but does need help in her organization skills. That latter part is my opinion. She was suppose to be showing me her reading journal, but was not able to locate it. Her teacher said that it was something that was not to be brought home, but she still brought it home. She was missing one assignment in science that was suppose to be done in class. I asked how could she have a missing assignment if it is done in class? I think this was a day that I picked her up early from school and she never got that assignment? I really don't like her teacher and have found that she is very unorganized too. She admitted that she does everything on her computer and her computer crashed or something so she had to do everything at the school. But on the letters that she was sending home, her dates were all wonky. For instance, she asked that the conference sign up sheets be turned in no later than Nov. 5. ( uh? that is a Sunday, how was I to get it to her by a Sunday, not to mention that we got the paper that previous Friday) and that papers turned in later than the 7th would not get their choices. We turned ours in on that Monday, which was the 6th, and we still did not get the times that we asked for. Oh and she also has Sneezer sitting with kids that are normally louder and cause problems. Hello, wouldn't that interfere with her school work? She said that she is sitting there to hopefully be some sort of role model and make them shut up basically. She has her sitting in the back of the classroom. Uh hello (again) wouldn't you put the trouble makers in the front of the class so they are less likely to cause problems?
Well enough about her teacher. Sneezer is doing well in school and I guess that is all that matters, right?
Next was CJ's. We were early for his. His was not until 5:30 and We just got done with Sneezer's at 4:30. So we popped in hoping that maybe we could get CJ's done early and YES! her 4:30 did not show up so we went ahead and did his. What can I say about CJ? He is eager to learn and if he doesn't understand something he automatically asks the teacher for help. She said that he is slightly ahead of the other kids. For instance, he understands that reading is left to right, he points to the words, and he knew how to do patterns. Something that I don't think Sneezer even did at that age! They gave him a test at the first part of school, just to see what they know. He knew letters, numbers, and he could finish patterns. (e.g. A B A B AA _ _ _ _ ) And he got them!! There were also shapes that he knew the name of and could draw. So many things!! I am proud of my little boy!!
Da's Conference will be on Monday night. I hope he is doing as well as I feel he is. he has been working very hard on his reading and writing. He is wonderful at math, in fact I think that is why CJ is doing so well is because Da reads and does math with him. I am anxious to find out what his teachers say!!
Well that is that. Oh I did watch Heroes yesterday on NBC.com . Great show!! I can't wait for the next one. That is all.
Yoddel!
Well enough about her teacher. Sneezer is doing well in school and I guess that is all that matters, right?
Next was CJ's. We were early for his. His was not until 5:30 and We just got done with Sneezer's at 4:30. So we popped in hoping that maybe we could get CJ's done early and YES! her 4:30 did not show up so we went ahead and did his. What can I say about CJ? He is eager to learn and if he doesn't understand something he automatically asks the teacher for help. She said that he is slightly ahead of the other kids. For instance, he understands that reading is left to right, he points to the words, and he knew how to do patterns. Something that I don't think Sneezer even did at that age! They gave him a test at the first part of school, just to see what they know. He knew letters, numbers, and he could finish patterns. (e.g. A B A B AA _ _ _ _ ) And he got them!! There were also shapes that he knew the name of and could draw. So many things!! I am proud of my little boy!!
Da's Conference will be on Monday night. I hope he is doing as well as I feel he is. he has been working very hard on his reading and writing. He is wonderful at math, in fact I think that is why CJ is doing so well is because Da reads and does math with him. I am anxious to find out what his teachers say!!
Well that is that. Oh I did watch Heroes yesterday on NBC.com . Great show!! I can't wait for the next one. That is all.
Yoddel!
Monday, November 13, 2006
the mammogram
Why is it hard to find anything on this? I know that they are out there. Has anyone blogged about this or I am just younger than most? I don't know if it is cancer yet. Hell I don't know what it is. It is just this lump that has been there for the last year and half, unchanged and painless. why the hell did they have to schedule it so far away. Now I have to sit here and wait until the 27th to know anything. These are my thoughts earlier with my sister.....
waiting is hard. and I have gone to several websites. googling any possibilities and that just freaks me out more. I just have to remember that black is good, white is bad. that is if I have to get a ultrasound. Mom said that if I do have to get an ultrasound that they will do it the same day but otherwise they won't let me see anything? hmm. I am freaking out and rechecking my breast everyday, hoping that maybe it will go away.
The other things I worry about, what if it is cancer? what if I do have to take chemo? my hair. where can I get a wig made from my hair? how will I get CJ from the bus stop? how will I take care of my kids? who could help me out? my husband will have to work so he can't stay home with me.
sometimes it feels like I am living my life faster than I am suppose to. you know? kid at 19, kidney stones, dysplasia, tubes tied, and now this. I should be in my 40's before I worry about this stuff! you know?
These were my thoughts today, hell these are my thought everyday. every thing I look at or read about cysts being accompanied by pain, is just not happening with me. It doesn't move and it hasn't changed, except for that there are more now. That is the only sign that I have read that indicates a cyst. I need to find some one to talk to that is my same age or around it and is/has gone through the same thing. I cannot wait 2 more weeks!!!! How can I get through this next two week without really freaking out? UGH!!!
waiting is hard. and I have gone to several websites. googling any possibilities and that just freaks me out more. I just have to remember that black is good, white is bad. that is if I have to get a ultrasound. Mom said that if I do have to get an ultrasound that they will do it the same day but otherwise they won't let me see anything? hmm. I am freaking out and rechecking my breast everyday, hoping that maybe it will go away.
The other things I worry about, what if it is cancer? what if I do have to take chemo? my hair. where can I get a wig made from my hair? how will I get CJ from the bus stop? how will I take care of my kids? who could help me out? my husband will have to work so he can't stay home with me.
sometimes it feels like I am living my life faster than I am suppose to. you know? kid at 19, kidney stones, dysplasia, tubes tied, and now this. I should be in my 40's before I worry about this stuff! you know?
These were my thoughts today, hell these are my thought everyday. every thing I look at or read about cysts being accompanied by pain, is just not happening with me. It doesn't move and it hasn't changed, except for that there are more now. That is the only sign that I have read that indicates a cyst. I need to find some one to talk to that is my same age or around it and is/has gone through the same thing. I cannot wait 2 more weeks!!!! How can I get through this next two week without really freaking out? UGH!!!
3 Day Weekend w/ the Kids
Friday we decided to go to the mall after chatting w/ My sister online and then straightening up the house a bit. While we were at the mall, "Da" asked Sho-sho "how old are you" she replied that she was not old! So he asked her again "Sho-sho, how old are you?" She replied again that she was not old! We all laughed at her answer and then she followed with " mommy is old"!
Hahahahahahahahaha!! She is such a little devil!!!
So after playing on the playground for a bit and CJ seeing one of his friends from school, we decided that it was time to go home. So we came home and ate some dinner. Daddy came home from work and we all sat down to watch the rest of the spongebob marathon and the new episode followed by the spongebob movie on Nickelodeon. End of day!
Saturday. First Seth's dad said that he was not going to come over b/c he needed to 'take care of Jackie.' Hmmm? she is currently going through Chemo therapy, but does not have it quite as often as mom did. I think he said she has it once every 4 weeks? in which her prior treatment was on October 30th. So she shouldn't be needing any ' taking care of" right now. So then we were getting ready to go and do other things when he called and asked seth to come and get him so that he could take his van back..( What? Noooooooo!) I have been driving that van to take the kids to school on rainy days and to and from the bus stop to get CJ in the afternoons. But then later I found out that he was taking it to clean it out (of his stuff) and put the seats back in so that I could drive it "legally".( Oh well then that is okay) They got one more room wired downstairs and then he said he would be back over on sunday to hook up the heat to the girls room upstairs.
Sunday..... No Mark. No phone call. Nothing.
So about 3:30 or so in the afternoon, we decided to brave the winds and go out "window shopping". I hate window shopping. I like to buy the things I want , not just look at them! But unfortunately this is another tight month. We have to stretch our budget this month. So we went to Target, Petco, and Best buy, and bought NOTHING!!!! Amazing!! And then we had dinner at Burger King. ( Barfing king) That was a mistake!! I spent a LOOONG time in the bathroom last night. I know "TMI" , but I guess that is what I get for eating fast food!!
Oh and "SEAHAWKS WON" whoo-hoo! I don't usually watch the games, but this one was so close and they won it in the last 50 seconds!!! It was awesome!!!
So here we are on monday. The house is quiet, with the occasional noise from Sho-sho and the wind. I should be cleaning, but I did most of it yesterday, thinking that my Father-in-law was coming over, so I don't have much to do. Well I do have a few loads of laundry I should do and straighten up the livingroom a bit, but that's is about it. Sat. evening I cleaned the kids room, putting all the boys stuff in storage bins. Now I need to do that to my room. And put all the stuff that will be going downstairs into storage bins. That basement need to get done so we don't fell like we are rats in a box anymore!!!
Well there is my weekend and and monday morning! talk to you later!!
Hahahahahahahahaha!! She is such a little devil!!!
So after playing on the playground for a bit and CJ seeing one of his friends from school, we decided that it was time to go home. So we came home and ate some dinner. Daddy came home from work and we all sat down to watch the rest of the spongebob marathon and the new episode followed by the spongebob movie on Nickelodeon. End of day!
Saturday. First Seth's dad said that he was not going to come over b/c he needed to 'take care of Jackie.' Hmmm? she is currently going through Chemo therapy, but does not have it quite as often as mom did. I think he said she has it once every 4 weeks? in which her prior treatment was on October 30th. So she shouldn't be needing any ' taking care of" right now. So then we were getting ready to go and do other things when he called and asked seth to come and get him so that he could take his van back..( What? Noooooooo!) I have been driving that van to take the kids to school on rainy days and to and from the bus stop to get CJ in the afternoons. But then later I found out that he was taking it to clean it out (of his stuff) and put the seats back in so that I could drive it "legally".( Oh well then that is okay) They got one more room wired downstairs and then he said he would be back over on sunday to hook up the heat to the girls room upstairs.
Sunday..... No Mark. No phone call. Nothing.
So about 3:30 or so in the afternoon, we decided to brave the winds and go out "window shopping". I hate window shopping. I like to buy the things I want , not just look at them! But unfortunately this is another tight month. We have to stretch our budget this month. So we went to Target, Petco, and Best buy, and bought NOTHING!!!! Amazing!! And then we had dinner at Burger King. ( Barfing king) That was a mistake!! I spent a LOOONG time in the bathroom last night. I know "TMI" , but I guess that is what I get for eating fast food!!
Oh and "SEAHAWKS WON" whoo-hoo! I don't usually watch the games, but this one was so close and they won it in the last 50 seconds!!! It was awesome!!!
So here we are on monday. The house is quiet, with the occasional noise from Sho-sho and the wind. I should be cleaning, but I did most of it yesterday, thinking that my Father-in-law was coming over, so I don't have much to do. Well I do have a few loads of laundry I should do and straighten up the livingroom a bit, but that's is about it. Sat. evening I cleaned the kids room, putting all the boys stuff in storage bins. Now I need to do that to my room. And put all the stuff that will be going downstairs into storage bins. That basement need to get done so we don't fell like we are rats in a box anymore!!!
Well there is my weekend and and monday morning! talk to you later!!
Friday, November 10, 2006
My doctor appt.
Yesterday I went to go to see the doctor about some discomfort I was having. It turned out to be just a Yeast infection, but I was freaking out b/c earlier this week I Googled my symptoms and got completely freaked out at some of the possibilties. But thankfully it is just a yeast infection.
So about a year and half ago, I went in for my last pap and discuss with the doctor my concerns about a lump that I found. He wasn't able to feel it, but b/c I was about to start my period he suggested that I came back after my period was over and we check again 'together'. So I schedule the appt. for about 3 weeks later, but in those 3 weeks, my mother found a lump in her breast and it turned out to be cancer. I completely freaked and decided not to go to my follow up appt. I guess I just didn't want to worry my mom when she was already going through something tough herself. So now that my mother is in remission, I decided that I would bring up my concerns at my appt. yesterday. He felt the lump, along with 2 other ones. I know that I should have gone for the follow up way back when, but I just felt that it was time now. I guess I just needed time to prepare myself for what ever, and also shortly after that I almost had my kidney rupture and was on alot of meds. for that, so I didn't really want to worry about anything else. Anything else that would cause me discomfort.
So my appt. for the mammogram is on the 27th of this month. I am having my mom come with me. Mostly to watch Sho-sho, but I guess also for support. I told her last night what the mammogram was for, but it didn't seem to phase her. She just wanted to get her paperwork done for work. The doctor said that considering my age and the fact that I have some tenderness, that it is more than likely some cysts. My husband thinks that it is nothing. He says " How unheard of is it for a 30 year old to have breast cancer?" Not unheard of at all. I mean I heard the same exact thing 5 years ago with my son. " Oh it sounds like kidney stones, but it couldn't be. He's only 4." But 5 years later he is still seeing a kidney specialists. He had so many stones that the last one was removed about 2 years ago and he has had a clear bill of health since then. *knock on wood* But the point I am trying to make is that these things do not discriminate by age.
I am somewhat concerned about this, but then again, like I said, I have had time to prepare myself. I have seen the possible outcomes. I have known that this lump was there and just told people that it went away b/c I didn't want the fuss. I don't want a fuss know and was actually conteplating not telling my husband or anyone. But then I needed a babysitter to watch Sho-sho and depending on how long it takes, to be here for CJ when he got out of school. I won't start freaking out completely until I hear "biopsy". If I don't hear that, then all is good.
So I was extremely tired last night. I wanted to go to sleep so badly, but there was a Spongebob marathon on that started at 8pm last night and goes until 7:30pm tonight. Sho-sho's favorite show is Spongebob, so she would not go to sleep and was actually singing along with the theme, while I was trying to sleep. *singing* "bob bob pear pants." it was cute, but hey she is only 4 so she tries to get the words!! So I woke up several times last night and could not get to sleep. Mostly b/c of the meds. I am on made my stomach hurt.
Oh my neighbor came down last night. I would call her my friend, but she only seems to talk to me when she needs something. Never to just talk. And when I call her, she always seems to have to go and do something w/ her daughter. Although I see her talking on her phone all the time?? I mean she just got married last month and she didn't even invite me. hmmm? But anyway, I told her that my sister is finally pregnant and that the IVF did work. She told me to tell her when I was going to send her a care package and that she would send something too so that we didn't have to pay shipping twice. You know I didn't even think of that. I mean I was wanting to get her a gift, but I didn't know what yet. I was going to wait until after she had her ultrasound til I decided on what to send. But I felt bad for telling her and maybe that was wh yshe got off the phone with me quickly. Oh she came down here to ask about my neighbor b/c I guess someone that was visiting there was priorly doing doughnuts in the intersection and came close to hitting her car. So anyway, forgetting to tell her about my sister, I called her. So this is why I think she got off the phone with me. She has had 2 babies. Her first was when she was only 16 or so and her other one is two. The older one was adopted by its biological granparents. Upon trying to have a baby with her current husband, she had experienced many miscarriages. She finally became pregnant with her daughter 3 years ago and after she was a year or so old, was trying again for a sibling for her daughter, only to have miscarriages month after month. She finally decided that the losses were to painful and decided to have her tubes tied to prevent any further miscarriages. So althought she is happy for my sister, I think a part of her is sad b/c she does want to have more but can't.
well anyway, that is an update of my day yesterday. fun huh?
So about a year and half ago, I went in for my last pap and discuss with the doctor my concerns about a lump that I found. He wasn't able to feel it, but b/c I was about to start my period he suggested that I came back after my period was over and we check again 'together'. So I schedule the appt. for about 3 weeks later, but in those 3 weeks, my mother found a lump in her breast and it turned out to be cancer. I completely freaked and decided not to go to my follow up appt. I guess I just didn't want to worry my mom when she was already going through something tough herself. So now that my mother is in remission, I decided that I would bring up my concerns at my appt. yesterday. He felt the lump, along with 2 other ones. I know that I should have gone for the follow up way back when, but I just felt that it was time now. I guess I just needed time to prepare myself for what ever, and also shortly after that I almost had my kidney rupture and was on alot of meds. for that, so I didn't really want to worry about anything else. Anything else that would cause me discomfort.
So my appt. for the mammogram is on the 27th of this month. I am having my mom come with me. Mostly to watch Sho-sho, but I guess also for support. I told her last night what the mammogram was for, but it didn't seem to phase her. She just wanted to get her paperwork done for work. The doctor said that considering my age and the fact that I have some tenderness, that it is more than likely some cysts. My husband thinks that it is nothing. He says " How unheard of is it for a 30 year old to have breast cancer?" Not unheard of at all. I mean I heard the same exact thing 5 years ago with my son. " Oh it sounds like kidney stones, but it couldn't be. He's only 4." But 5 years later he is still seeing a kidney specialists. He had so many stones that the last one was removed about 2 years ago and he has had a clear bill of health since then. *knock on wood* But the point I am trying to make is that these things do not discriminate by age.
I am somewhat concerned about this, but then again, like I said, I have had time to prepare myself. I have seen the possible outcomes. I have known that this lump was there and just told people that it went away b/c I didn't want the fuss. I don't want a fuss know and was actually conteplating not telling my husband or anyone. But then I needed a babysitter to watch Sho-sho and depending on how long it takes, to be here for CJ when he got out of school. I won't start freaking out completely until I hear "biopsy". If I don't hear that, then all is good.
So I was extremely tired last night. I wanted to go to sleep so badly, but there was a Spongebob marathon on that started at 8pm last night and goes until 7:30pm tonight. Sho-sho's favorite show is Spongebob, so she would not go to sleep and was actually singing along with the theme, while I was trying to sleep. *singing* "bob bob pear pants." it was cute, but hey she is only 4 so she tries to get the words!! So I woke up several times last night and could not get to sleep. Mostly b/c of the meds. I am on made my stomach hurt.
Oh my neighbor came down last night. I would call her my friend, but she only seems to talk to me when she needs something. Never to just talk. And when I call her, she always seems to have to go and do something w/ her daughter. Although I see her talking on her phone all the time?? I mean she just got married last month and she didn't even invite me. hmmm? But anyway, I told her that my sister is finally pregnant and that the IVF did work. She told me to tell her when I was going to send her a care package and that she would send something too so that we didn't have to pay shipping twice. You know I didn't even think of that. I mean I was wanting to get her a gift, but I didn't know what yet. I was going to wait until after she had her ultrasound til I decided on what to send. But I felt bad for telling her and maybe that was wh yshe got off the phone with me quickly. Oh she came down here to ask about my neighbor b/c I guess someone that was visiting there was priorly doing doughnuts in the intersection and came close to hitting her car. So anyway, forgetting to tell her about my sister, I called her. So this is why I think she got off the phone with me. She has had 2 babies. Her first was when she was only 16 or so and her other one is two. The older one was adopted by its biological granparents. Upon trying to have a baby with her current husband, she had experienced many miscarriages. She finally became pregnant with her daughter 3 years ago and after she was a year or so old, was trying again for a sibling for her daughter, only to have miscarriages month after month. She finally decided that the losses were to painful and decided to have her tubes tied to prevent any further miscarriages. So althought she is happy for my sister, I think a part of her is sad b/c she does want to have more but can't.
well anyway, that is an update of my day yesterday. fun huh?
Thursday, November 9, 2006
First post
So here we are with the first post and what to talk about? Well I guess I will start of by telling you about myself. I am married and have been for the last 6 years. We have been together longer than we were married and have 4 kids together. I am a stay at home mom. Which that title kind of bugs me, b/c I don't just 'stay' at home. Well I suppose I could get in to that but that's not for now. 3 of my kids are in school and my youngest is about to start next year. I am planning to start school myself next fall. well the original plan was to go this fall but we have started remodeling our house so, well it just wasn't good timing. Next year will be better b/c all the kids will be in school and I will be able to focus better.
Let's see, what else? Um? I am officially going to be an auntie soon. I mean I am an aunt already through my husband's siblings, but that is just not the same. My sister and her husband have been trying for a baby for the last 5 years and through IVF she is now pregnant. It is wonderful and yet not fair that they had to pay to have a baby. But I know that they will both be wonderful parents. My kids adore them and converse with them almost everyday, via e-mail.
My Mother has survived Breast Cancer and is currently in remission. Whoo-hoo. But now that my mother has finished all her treatment, my mother-in-law is beginning hers. I am not particularly fond of my mother-in-law, but no woman should have to go through this.
Well that is all for now. I am sure I will write more in the future, just can't think of anything at the moment.
Yoddel!
Let's see, what else? Um? I am officially going to be an auntie soon. I mean I am an aunt already through my husband's siblings, but that is just not the same. My sister and her husband have been trying for a baby for the last 5 years and through IVF she is now pregnant. It is wonderful and yet not fair that they had to pay to have a baby. But I know that they will both be wonderful parents. My kids adore them and converse with them almost everyday, via e-mail.
My Mother has survived Breast Cancer and is currently in remission. Whoo-hoo. But now that my mother has finished all her treatment, my mother-in-law is beginning hers. I am not particularly fond of my mother-in-law, but no woman should have to go through this.
Well that is all for now. I am sure I will write more in the future, just can't think of anything at the moment.
Yoddel!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
