Why is it hard to find anything on this? I know that they are out there. Has anyone blogged about this or I am just younger than most? I don't know if it is cancer yet. Hell I don't know what it is. It is just this lump that has been there for the last year and half, unchanged and painless. why the hell did they have to schedule it so far away. Now I have to sit here and wait until the 27th to know anything. These are my thoughts earlier with my sister.....
waiting is hard. and I have gone to several websites. googling any possibilities and that just freaks me out more. I just have to remember that black is good, white is bad. that is if I have to get a ultrasound. Mom said that if I do have to get an ultrasound that they will do it the same day but otherwise they won't let me see anything? hmm. I am freaking out and rechecking my breast everyday, hoping that maybe it will go away.
The other things I worry about, what if it is cancer? what if I do have to take chemo? my hair. where can I get a wig made from my hair? how will I get CJ from the bus stop? how will I take care of my kids? who could help me out? my husband will have to work so he can't stay home with me.
sometimes it feels like I am living my life faster than I am suppose to. you know? kid at 19, kidney stones, dysplasia, tubes tied, and now this. I should be in my 40's before I worry about this stuff! you know?
These were my thoughts today, hell these are my thought everyday. every thing I look at or read about cysts being accompanied by pain, is just not happening with me. It doesn't move and it hasn't changed, except for that there are more now. That is the only sign that I have read that indicates a cyst. I need to find some one to talk to that is my same age or around it and is/has gone through the same thing. I cannot wait 2 more weeks!!!! How can I get through this next two week without really freaking out? UGH!!!
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3 comments:
relax for two weeks , take a violin class,painting , cooking ..whatever ..forget the lump . you will find out what you will find out when you find out . u survived so much it seems and whatever comes ..you will deal with it then . if it is painless it does not mean malignant only .. it can be other things that are benign! the best of luck ..remember relax! freaking out never makes things better .
I know it is hard to relax but It probably is just a cyst. So don't keep looking at all the info on the internet and just do you day to day stuff with the kids, crocheting, knitting etc and don't think about it.
Well, you already know what I say. Stay away from google. I understand the temptation, believe me, as I waited to find out if the IVF worked and now I have to wait 2 weeks for the first ultrasound.
It's easy to say don't think about it, but you have to try! :-) I should probably listen to my own advice, huh?
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