Monday, October 22, 2007

Monday Morning

So I woke up this morning to the sound of Hubby getting ready for work. Why can't he just take time off? we went shopping at wal-fart yesterday and Sho-sho started crying over something that she wanted but was not getting and Hubby grabbed her and said " at least you can cry, my brother can't even cry anymore." It was then that I took the kids out to the car. Sneezer stayed with Hubby.
When they got to the car, I could hear sniffling coming from Hubby and I asked him if he was okay, and he said "No. He can't even go to wal*mart anymore." I really don't know what to say to him. I want to tell him that even though he can't see Matt that he is here with him everyday. But I just don't think he wants to hear my sappy Bulls**t. you know? So I just put my hand on his leg and when we got home I gave him a hug.

I half expecting him to at least be home by now, but I guess being busy is easier for him. When he is here and it is quiet, he just starts to cry. Yesterday, he was started to yell at the kids for being loud and he called Sho-sho by his sister's name. I don't know where he was at that moment, but it made my stomach churn.

We haven't heard anything yet about the autopsy. Hubby went with his dad and one of his step-brothers to Matt's house to start packing his stuff. That was hard for them all and when Hubby got home, he wouldn't stop looking at the things he brought home.

1 comment:

OHN said...

I am so sorry for what you all are going through. It is tough enough to lose someone unexpectedly but to know that they had sought help not long before, makes it all the more tragic. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers in these tough days ahead.

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